Ramadaan with teens

Welcome readers, 

It's Friday already (gasp!) and I honestly cannot fathom that the week has flown by so fast. I certainly don't feel the usual worn out exhaustion after a hectic week, and yet, it's been a wonderfully productive work week whilst fasting and observing all my supplications. I really do feel the tranquility of this month has once again enveloped my home, and all of the occupants.

The reality remains that with a houseful of growing teenage boys, they get hangry as the day and the month progresses. But even with this, the calm has resulted in them being less argumentative, less annoyed with each other, even with the exam stress hanging in the air. I try to ensure that their suhoor (breakfast) is nutritious and filled with brain food and enough protein to keep them going. It's a task which is hard to accomplish when these young sportsmen still take the time to train at home, or just kicking a ball around when they're bored, burning through their energy reserves. One of the things they've had to forego is their sports schedule, partly because logistically it's difficult to co-ordinate and partly because I want them to focus on study and increased recitation. We have over the years created our own unique traditions, favourite fasting meals and family time, and I find it such a special time to bond during this month. 

The first week has whizzed by, but not without serious self evaluation and introspection. I've sat and pondered on how I engage, how I serve and how I set an example to lead by. My legacy is the only thing which is worth being conscious of, and here I'm not referring to a legacy of wealth. The legacy I refer to is the example I set as a parent, to the values I embody, live by and instill in my offspring. My kids are the next generation who will need to do the same, they too will need to be self aware and understand that there will always be work towards being the best version of yourself. I would love to ensure that they know that their amazing individual talents have been gifted to them, for them, and to serve. I would love to ensure that they know that living authentically is so much more rewarding that chasing the almighty buck.

Raising teenagers, in today's materially centered society, will always be a challenge. It will always be a challenge to remind them that pursuing wealth is not the end goal; but I live with the hope that through example and actions they will intrinsically just get it. I live with the hope that by example I have shown what really matters; and whilst it is great to have the material things, it is not the end goal, it is not the focus of life. 

Today's look is a relaxed one, with a loose fitting pants, swing frill top and gold platform sneakers. Perfectly modest and comfortable for running those endless errands.

Outfit details:

Something Pretty embellished top

Trenery cotton pants (old)

Gifted scarf

Superga flatform sneakers

Louis Vuitton bag

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Food for the soul

 Hello lovely readers!

We are on the brink of starting the auspicious month of fasting, which is usually a very special and tranquil time in my home. I look forward to another month of spiritual renewal, and feeding my soul.
This month is more than just abstinence from food and drink during daylight hours but also a focus on my relationship with the Divine. I spend a lot of time in supplication, reflection and clearing myself of clutter.

Whilst our bodies undergo a detox, I find every single aspect of my life undergoes the same. I evaluate myself, the year that has passed, how much I have grown as a person and what I was able to give back and serve. The detox process for this month includes a decluttering of the mind, the soul, my space and my interactions, with a focus on being able to serve with this clearer mindset. Ramadaan is a pillar of my religion, it is also the month during which the Quran was revealed to the last prophet Muhammad (SAW); and therefore we increase our recitation of the Quran during this month whilst observing one of the fundamentals of Islam.

This year, mid year exams coincide with the fast, and so the kids will be occupied with study timetables, revision and Quran recitation. They will not agree with me, but I believe they will be more focused with a decluttered mind and able to write more clearly and concisely. I always find this month to be my most productive in terms of generating ideas, business strategy and setting things up for the year to come.

This year I do not find myself dashing about getting things ready, even though I had planned today to be set aside for those things. It turns out, nothing much needs to be done and I am perfectly content to just start with what we have; and plan for a month of serenity, and spiritual focus.
I have already started the process of feeding my soul, so this month is merely a time out to integrate all the work I have done in this regard.

Today's look is to welcome Winter and Ramadaan, a light faux fur sleeveless gilet over sequin top and striped heels. A look that can be worn to the office for a twist on casual Friday or even a relaxed date night. All these pieces are from previous seasons, and are classics which have given me some good wear.

Ramdaan Kareem to all those who will be observing this holy month, may you reap all the blessings during this beautiful month. ❤️

Outfit details:

Human Image faux fur gilet (last season)

Sequin top from 46664

Woolworths jeans 

Dune London heels 

Gifted Scarf

Rebecca Minkhoff fringed bag

Pearls from Crystal Paradise

Tiffany & Co Bracelets 

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Celebrating nurturers

Welcome readers, 

We are fast approaching mid year, and Winter, with it's promise of rain and warm cosy moments indoors. It sounds really idyllic, but I know the reality as a mom, that the moment you plan for a hour of relax time, something unexpected pops up. 

I am trying to battle the flu, trying very hard to keep it from taking a hold of my body and getting me under. So with all the herbal meds I am taking, I need some down time to ensure my body is able to fight this bug. The problem is.... downtime to recuperate from illness is nearly an impossibility when kids and family need to be attended to. Or fetched from school, or taken to music lessons, and so on...

We have just celebrated Mother's Day, and the kids would have bought little tokens of appreciation and love; have prepared interesting meals and presented moms with handmade keepsakes. There is too much pressure when there is just one day dedicated to making mom feel special, and one would say it should really be more organic than staged. That kids should show appreciation every day, and spoil mom every day... 

Pfft 😬😬

If only!

The reality moms (and I refer to all care givers and nurturers) face is that mommying is done seamlessly, and the home runs without hiccup. When everyone gets home and sits down to have a lovely, wholesome home cooked meal, very little thought has gone into the juggling of time that had to happen to ensure that the food was ready on time. Trying to cook around work meetings, school runs and errands becomes a carefully planned item on the to-do list. Cooking is just one aspect of a moms day, and there are so many other instances, such as a sick kid - the time taken to nurse a sick member of the family is something which naturally occurs, without a second thought. Running to the stationery store to get assignment paraphernalia is a norm, buying essentials and all the other little things which keep the home running effortlessly takes time from mommy (mine right now) recuperation time. 

This post is therefore dedicated to all moms, dads, caregivers and guardians who are raising their families in the best way they know how. Each one, going through the daily grind, occasionally dropping the ball and sometimes just not knowing what to do. You are superheroes!

  As I am writing this, I am planning on time to recuperate, but silently in my head it's moving further and further down the list, as I remember all the other things that have to be done first... 

And yet, I would not have it any other way... And I'd still make the time to engage with the family and kids, still watch a sitcom with my youngest, talk fashion with the eldest or just chat to my middle son... Recuperation can wait...

Today's post is one worn for an event earlier this week, just before the flu got me looking all tired and feeling blegh. So, there was at least one moment this week when this mommy dressed up and felt good. One of my favourite dresses from Human Image, my now favourite LV bag and classic Nine West courts finish the look. 

Outfit:

Human Image dress

Scarf Stop scarf

Make a statement earrings

Louis Vuitton bag

Nine West heels

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Feminism is not male bashing

Hello readers,

When you're a mum, Friday does not mean relax, in fact it actually means buckle up for the whirlwind that's about to hit! It means: prepare for early morning sports, tuition runs, popping into the stores for new clothes, sports equipment, cooking, entertaining and so much more. And yet, I thrive on this busyness over weekends as it is a time when I feel most engaged with my family. I experience what they love to do, take time to have long chats, watch their favourite movies and celebrate their passions (sport, in our case). 

So with all the male bashing I've seen this week, especially with the horrific stories of a young child being raped by her dad & brother and a young woman killed by her boyfriend; it has disturbed me on many fronts. I am a feminist, I believe in women being empowered, in being able to live their best lives; however I do not believe that ALL men are trash, that ALL men are threatened by strong women or that ALL men want women to be subservient. I am raising three young men and refuse to buy into the version of feminism that feels it needs to denounce all males. I am fortunate to have by my side a supportive male, a husband who supports my endeavours, who is not threatened by a successful or strong woman and who is able to love me just as I am. He is able to be a partner in my life, an active participant as much as I am in his. And I am surrounded by many such males, who set the examples for the younger males around them. I choose to believe that those young males will follow suit and model that same behaviour. I choose to believe that by having a mom who practices my version of a feminist, will go a long way to ensuring my boys are secure enough in themselves to be partners one day too. 

I am a feminist, and was driven in pursuing a career, and yet, when I chose to step out of that hamster wheel, I was happy to tend to my family. This did not mean I had to give up being an entrepreneur, or studying or pursuing new goals. I enjoy being an independent working woman, but I also love cooking for my family, being with my kids, raising them and spending time with hubby. I am not pressured into doing any of these things, and THAT is where feminism comes in. I am free to choose my path, free to decide how to plan my day, how I want to dress and where I want to go. If I choose to make time to look after my family, or dress modestly or fetch kids from school, it is certainly not because I am browbeaten. 

These stories making headlines this week are indeed atrocious, but heinous acts are not only perpetrated by males, and it is a gross generalisation to condemn the male species as a result. It is more an indication of those individuals' socio-economic circumstances, learned behaviours and conditioning from being exposed to these types of behaviours, which deems it 'acceptable' for them to conduct themselves in this way. As a feminist, I enjoy having my door opened for me, or the chair being drawn out for me (which is something hubby and all my boys practice), it makes me feel respected, honoured and appreciated. It certainly doesn't cost me anything to be gracious about accepting it; and hubby does it because he wants to, not because he has to. This is does not mean that all males should do this, it simply means that if my guy wants to show appreciation and respect towards me as a woman, I will graciously accept it. There are enough stories of woman abuse around to be thankful when presented with the alternative. 

Furthermore, I live in a home with four males, and strongly reject male bashing at every level. 

Today's look is to symbolise grace, and to show that I am proudly woman, proudly supportive of the males around me. Without whom I would not be where I am today. This look is a casual, Autumn inspired ensemble featuring a t-shirt dress, leather jacket adorned with pearls and beads.

Outfit:

Mango dress

Urban leather jacket from Asos

Mimco leather ankle boots

French Connection backpack

Pearls and beads (old)

Louis Vuitton scarf

Mimco rings

Lovisa earrings

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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