A few tweaks is all that is needed

Hi lovely readers!

I've been immersed in Ramadaan and when I reared my head, I realised that we had entered the last 10 days/nights 🤲🏼. As usual this month has been filled with so many blessings, I can tangibly feel the mercy of my Rabb and the sacredness of my time.

Last year we were catapulted into a very restricted way of observing Ramadaan, and yet the solitude and isolation turned out to be an amazing gift of a beautiful time. It allowed us the space to introspect, perform taraweeh in our homes, create new family bonding moments and to practice gratitude for our homes, food and health. This year, as we have emerged a from most of the restrictions, for many, Ramadaan has reverted back to the norm. I have not fully emerged from the solitude, I am finding comfort in isolation as it has allowed me the ability to contemplate more deeply, to strip away illusions more effectively without unnecessary noise. My prayer and reflection time is intensely heartfelt as I engage in supplication, reflection and examine my own engagement in the world; and how I serve and fulfil my purpose. 

This past year has forced us to focus even more on the transient nature of life, as many of us are missing loved ones as we stare at empty seats at our dinner tables. It has taught us the power of prayer and faith, as everything we believed we could control, suddenly shifted beyond our reach and power. The reality of the Divine Plan has never been more strongly felt, and the potential of surrender never more promising than right now. I am certain that every single person has been affected in a myriad of ways by this pandemic; from losing loved ones, being infected and struggling to recover, loss of income, heightened abuse and mental health challenges, to mention a few. I am therefore so thankful for the energy and spirituality of this month; through contemplation and introspection, I can see how everything that has transpired has happened FOR me, not TO me; I am able to embrace the strength that I have dug deep down to find bu the Grace of my Creator. HE has brought me through so many traumas before this, and HE will bring me through this too Subgaanallah.

One of the most liberating effects of lockdown is that my duty to serve, and fortify myself in my purpose, has become my sole focus. Working at being the best version of me, without outside noise this past year, has been nothing short of life-changing. I start every day with gratitude for being alive, for my health, for my strength, my mind, my heart - all of which I will continue to honour-  as these gifts equip me for whatever has been decreed along my path Algamdulilah.

These last 10 days is to be spent, as far as possible, in supplication for refuge and bringing us closer to the Divine. I pray that you are able to find the spaces to engage in deep dialogue with our Creator. May this last few days bring you peace, fill your soul and surround you with blessings InshaAllah.

In the spirit of the end of Ramadaan, I have decided to include my usual repurposing Eid styling inspo for those who are keen to upcycle outifts. I have been doing this for the past few years, and by merely changing up a few elements, it transforms the entire outfit to one that has never been worn before! For this lookpost, I chose a simple Milk Flared white Abayah with pockets from iera designs and glammed it up with accessories, most importantly- a feather jacket☺This look shows how you can take any piece and make it Eid ready! The jacket, scarf, shoes and bag are all existing pieces in my closet, which, when paired together results in a pretty Eid-worthy outfit.

Let me know what your thoughts are on re-purposing, I have already received resounding agreement to upcycling for Eid.

Milk Abayah from iera designs

Feather Jacket - London purchase

Suede heels- old

Forever New bag

Rose Gold Scarf from Rif Wrapped

Sunglasses - old

Ciao for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Welcoming 2020 December

Hi readers, 

It is with great disbelief that I welcome December. I feel as if 2020 had been placed on pause somewhere around the beginning of March. I returned from my last trip abroad on 28 February, straight into planning for my next trip in mid-March. However, as I travelled through Mauritius during that last week of February, I watched the international news in horror. At that point, Italy was starting its steep trajectory, an entire hotel in the UK had been locked down and quarantined, and as travelers, we were  subjected to several health checks at the airport. Looking back, it became clear that those incidences were just a precursor to something I could never have imagined possible, a total lockdown for the entire globe. It heralded the start of something straight out of a sci-fi or apocalyptic movie: empty streets, empty airports, grounded planes and isolated, shut off continents and islands. 

People retreated into their homes, some glued to the grim news reports on television; others just trying to make sense of a warped reality. And even while it was happening, I had the slightest belief that we would recover and that within 6  months or so, we would start emerging from this horror. Well here we are, 9 months later and in the midst of a resurgence, praying that we do not fall victim to the second wave which has the majority of the northern hemisphere in a deathlike vice grip. There are moments when a semblance of normalcy rears its head, like a visit with family members or dinner with friends. And swiftly, I am reminded of our current circumstances, as I instinctively feel the need to sanitise, or need to pull the mask back up after eating. I have never before minded crowds, now I try and avoid it like the plague, as I am constantly mindful of being a 'carrier' when engaging when older and more vulnerable members of our community. Prior to the pandemic, I always had sanitising hand wipes in my bag, waterless sanitiser and I would not just touch surfaces as a general rule. I am therefore no stranger to sanitisation, in fact its a norm (for my own protection), however the possibility of contracting the virus and being asymptomatic, and then infecting others, is my biggest fear. 

We are now approaching the end of what can only described as an unspeakable year, and I have never been as happy to see the end of exams as this year. I feel as if this is a major achievement for this year, as schooling has really been one of the most affected areas. Being able to complete the school year and write exams (in whatever shape or form) is an accomplishment indeed. My youngest has missed the social engagements and he has mourned the loss of his soccer training and matches; especially since he suffered a bone break at the beginning of the year and was still recovering when lockdown hit. During lockdown we spent 24 hours a day with our families, confined to the four walls of our homes; trying to remain positive and sane. My young adult sons weathered online university like troopers; the eldest completing his final postgrad and my middle pushing through second year. I cannot imagine the isolation they must have felt; attending campus is more than just an educational experience for them; it is also the place to engage with friends, develop long lasting friendships and provide and find peer support. More than anything, having lost their social engagements with peers affected them way more than having to continue their learning online. Now friendships were being reduced to video calls, birthday wishes being sent via voice notes and milestones celebrated virtually (even a graduation ceremonies). 

This year has taught me what is truly important, how critical it is to live my purpose and to trust in Divine guidance. Everything I had planned for this year went out the window, and at first it totally threw me off course. By nature I am a solutionist, I am best at strategising and finding new ways forward; and for a while, I operated in survival mode. There was no solution, no alternative, no strategy that would work for our current situation, and I had to dig deep to arrive at a place where that was ok. I had to do some heavy inner work, introspect and find the place that would allow me to surrender even further to the Divine. I am strong in my faith, and yet this pandemic has unearthed another layer. It has brought about a humility coupled with immense gratitude for the privilege of just being me, each and every day. I have uncovered a depth of strength within, which has been highlighted by the trials faced during this time. It wasn't pretty, and I am thankful to my family for rallying during what seems like a nightmarish year. We have been supportive with each other, with the usual disagreements; but each member of the family has had to practise compromise, kindness, patience and tolerance toward the others. This applied to sibling relationships, parent-child relationships and marital relationships; with the understanding that this situation is not a walk in the park, for any one of us. And whilst we are not out of lockdown yet, we have emerged from the past 9 months in good shape and with a renewed mutual respect. 

It is therefore understandable that as lockdown regulations were relaxed, people rushed to find some normalcy. I really missed my nearest and dearest, but even as lockdown relaxed, I am not yet engaging and visiting as often as I would like. It is still crucial to maintain our safety measures, and follow COVID protocols, as nothing has really changed. The virus is still transmitted in the same way, people are still dying and we still need to adhere to protocols. In fact, other parts of the world are still living in 'military states' with curfews and stringent lockdown laws in place. It is therefore incumbent upon each of us to remain responsible, to monitor ourselves and in need refrain from social engagements, to protect others more than just ourselves.

I have not shopped much recently, but in the hope of spreading the love wanted share the pieces sent to me by iera Designs, (Islamic Era Designs), a new modest clothing line. The ladies behind the business are passionate about hijab, beautiful pieces, quality and would like to make it accessible to all. My favourite piece is this beautiful marble print dress, which can be dressed up or down. It's lightweight and the fabric drapes beautifully, creating a modest silhouette. I felt comfortable, elegant and completely at ease while wearing this stunning piece. I have paired it with a light silkblend scarf from Rana Scarves which is  perfect for those sweltering Summer days.

 

Outfit Details:

iera Designs dress

Rana Scarves silkblend scarf

Mimco Crochet bag

Forever New Heels

Caio for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Managing the Mommy Guilt

Hi beautiful readers!

As I sat down to pour some of my thoughts into my blog space I realised that this will be my first post of 2020 (or 20PLENTY as it's been dubbed). And it's taken me more than a week to finalise just this one post!

Indeed this year is just over a month old and it already feels like I have had several months of 2020 ☺️

Upon my return from our annual break, I was back in office the very next day (6 January) and it's literally been only a month and here I am, already feeling the need for another break. This past month I have been really busy with work and getting my Women's Tour sorted for next month. I was so focused that I completely forgot that my youngest still needed supplies for school. I found myself in a comfort zone, where my older sons still had an entire month before they started Uni. Until it hit me that Ihsaan needed school shoes, stationery (and because I travelled the last few weeks of school, I didn't organise it last year) and some uniform items. I was then one of those braving the shops on the last minute, two days before school getting things together.

I'm usually very organised and manage the home, work and kids relatively well; so you can imagine the self-berating that took place to find myself in this position. I had to accept the fact that sometimes things fall through the cracks and that it's actually ok, and whilst I've made huge strides in managing mommy guilt, it still creeps up occasionally. This was one of those times it snuck up on me; and because I've been so busy with work since our return from holiday, it was just amplified. To make it worse, two weeks into the school term, and still battling to get his textbooks sorted, Ihsaan met with an accident and suffered a really bad injury 😢Pile on the mommy guilt. And it just increased with other occurrences with my other two young men. More mommy guilt...

I eventually reached the point where I had to pull myself back, reflect and be realistic. And the reality of the 12 months, which involved extensive traveling, long workdays and work weeks that lasted months, hit me full force. My default mode is to power through, take care of everyone and the home, as if my work load had not quadrupled, with ease and a smile. I know this about myself, I usually know how to manage when I go into default mode... and somehow I missed the moment when automated mode kicked in this time around. It usually means that at some point I crash, my body sends me signals and I burn out... I managed to heed the warning signs along the way, and would take some time to nurture myself, but soon after I'd just fall back into default mode. 

Only this past week did it dawn on me that I was in my usual cycle, with mommy guilt as my fuel. I had to critically look at how I prioritise time, and make a conscious decision to get back on track on a sustainable basis. ie not only nurture when things get too much, but try and maintain it on a regular basis to avoid the signs of burnout. I realise my trigger is the mommy guilt, or the guilt when I'm too tired to cook, or when I cannot muster up the energy to have a conversation with my boys. I realised this when I finally found the presence of mind to excuse myself for a few hours from the busyness of my life;  and reset myself at the beach... Alone ... Listening to my music and watching the crashing waves... I sat there  and consciously disconnected from work, from the kids, from all the responsibilities and duties and just immersed myself in nature. Those few hours were sorely needed, and as I drove home, I felt lighter and more centred. 

I don't think I've found the magic formula for managing the mommy guilt, nor have I figured out how to avoid it; but I do know how to identify when I've gone way off track. This mommy guilt is a self induced punishment brought upon by my own impossibly high standards and expectations I have for myself ... ie I am very aware that these expectations have been set up by ME. I've also been reminded that when I decide to take a time out, the world goes on and the 'kids' manage themselves. And hubby understands, no explanations necessary. So in this year of plenty, I intend to make plenty of time for check outs. I used to schedule these in my diary, and see now that in my busyness this practice got lost along the way... So here's to taking charge of the mommy guilt and the diary!

How do you manage the mommy guilt?

This look is a typical mommy on check out, I was actually having a really hectic work day (on a weekend) when we shot this. I then decided to shelf the work, go for some coffee and then snap some pics... All pieces are old favourites, as I haven't even had the time to shop either.

I guess classics will have to do 😊

PS: the bag is the only new purchase from one of my trips last year.

Outfit Details:

Old Sequin Parka (Coast & Koi)

Old tired top

A Sense of Style Skirt

Adidas Stan Smith Sneakers

Kate Spade slingbag

Black Pearl Earrings from Pleasures 

Caio for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Wrapping up this Decade

Hi beauties!

As this decade draws to a close, I find myself not only reflecting on this year and what has transpired, but also on what this past decade has brought. And boy, it has been an eventful one, filled with so much unexpected blessings and achievements, most of them not really planned in the traditional sense.

There have been so many areas of growth, expansion, change, and loads and loads of learning. At the start of the last century, my life was on a different course, I was still working feverishly in finance. I was mom to 3 young boys, juggling the crazy extra curricular driving with work, and being a home maker. I barely slept, I was constantly ON, studying part time and just about making time for my gym sessions. Whilst I was not really unhappy, I do remember my health taking a downward turn, my only kidney taking strain, as well as other major health issues popping up. It was clear that something needed to change; and yet it still took me a long time to come to terms with this and take the step toward the change.

During this last decade I started my blog journey (2012), left the corporate space (2013/2014), embarked on the entrepreneur path (2014), to mention a few of the life changing events. My professional journey has evolved so much in the past 10 years, which has transformed many times; into variations based on where I was at the time, what I've learnt and where my path has led me. At the close of the decade, I now find myself the office daily, working more than I did 10 years ago; however, with a distinct change ... I am now focused on growing our own businesses, engaging my passion for serving my fellow human, coaching, mentoring businesses and my continuous search for knowledge and seeing the world; and sharing this with others.

When I look at my 3 boys, who were all under the age of 11 at the start of the decade, I acknowledge that this has been one of the most rewarding area of growth and learning for me. I have had to learn to parent impressionable teens, nurturing them into young adults, being mindful of their individual personalities and characters. These young men have brought me such profound learnings, they have shown me how to look at myself critically and taught me what modelled behaviour should look like.  They have guided me on how to engage with them from a place of compassion, understanding and empathy while at the same time maintaining my parental responsibilities. This balance was the hardest thing to learn!

My personal path during these past 10 years has been nothing short of phenomenal, I have engaged and dealt with my childhood trauma with courage and grace. My past hurts are no longer regarded as millstones around my neck, and instead I am thankful for those tough times as they have shaped me into the individual I am today. There were scary moments of facing things which had been buried for years, but bringing them to light was so liberating and healing. All my inner work has enabled me to parent with awareness of my own weaknesses and when they creep into situations, I have learned how to manage my triggers and deal with my demons in my own way. 

We were immensely blessed to have received our invitation for pilgrimage (almost 3 years ago), a truly life changing event which literally fast tracked my own inner work. It put my entire life into perspective and shed light on my purpose on this earth. It taught me that my faith and the Divine is all I need to navigate my path. 

I have grown so much as an individual, my circle has diminished as I focused more and more on my own internal work and I have grown to understand human nature holistically. The biggest learning during these past 10 years has been to understand that forgiveness sets me free as much as it does the forgiven. That I am not qualified to determine who should or should not be forgiven, I am completely clear that my only focus should be on being the best I can be. It does not matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks as I cannot influence or change anyone else, I can only manage myself and my own actions; afterall I am accountable only for myself and those whom I have been tasked with the responsibility of nurturing and teaching.

This year hubby and I celebrated our 24th anniversary, and even the very foundation of our mariage has shifted during this last decade. Whilst we were both on our individual paths, focusing respectively on our own inner work; it has fostered appreciation, understanding and a stronger bond has been forged through our shared trials and tribulations. During my times of grappling with hurt, I found solace in my soul mate, and when faced with impossible situations, he supported me unconditionally. 🙏🏼

I am therefore heading into the next decade fully equipped to live to the best of my ability, to continue to seek knowledge, to be fully aware of my impact on the world and others, and to take responsibility for myself and my actions as I walk along my Decreed path. There have been so many firsts in this past 10 years, too many to list, and I remain eternally thankful to my Creator for all that I have been blessed with, for all that I have seen and experienced and for all the lessons which have strengthened me in so many ways, Algamdulilah. ♥️

Pics below are from my very first international birthday trip, as we usually only travel in December so that we can take the kids with us. This year we decided to break tradition and do a trip mid year, without the boys. And even though we had some work commitments, there was obviously time for holidaying as well!

Due to the heat in Dubai, I mostly wore silk dresses (like this one), light skirts and linen fabrics...

Wishing all of you a wonderful and prosperous 2020!

 Outfit details:

Boldtique dress

Old Scarf

Birkenstocks Sandals

Desigual Backpack

Old Earrings

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Superbalist Winter favourites

Hi lovelies!

I've been offline for a while, it was a necessary time out from the blog while hubby travelled and I managed work and held down the fort at home. I am slowly starting to get back to normal, and finding my groove, and with it the realisation that perhaps my wardrobe needs a little injection for winter. So whilst I still don't have the luxury of time to wander through the malls, I turn to my trusty online shopping sites.

I usually have a good idea of the pieces I need to inject some life into my wardrobe, sometimes it's a trendy print piece, a good classic pair of boots, some updated knitwear items, in different textures and fabrics or some contemporary accessories. My go-to online store for some clothing pieces to introduce some trendiness into my closet is always Superbalist. Their range varies from well priced items to more classic pieces, and I adore their leather boots which are always competitively priced. They also run amazing specials quite frequently, so I know I'll be able to snatch up some cool bargains!

So here's my wishlist of some clothing items from the Superbalist site to update my wardrobe:

A pearl studded beret for a change up to the usual hijab look.

Pants with some sparkle is right up my alley, perfect for those winter evenings, paired with some faux fur.

A more casual take with these super trendy loose plaid trouser, dressed up or down would be a versatile piece in my closet,

A romantic flowy top is always a good idea ♥️

A leather skirt is a wonderful addition and will perfectly complement any look work look, evening look or casual ensemble.

The pleated skirt is still a big seller, and can be adapted to suit any look you're going for. 

A good basic knit is the perfect winter accompaniment, whether to layer up or just as is.

Embellishments and sparkles is always a winner!

It's no secret that I love a good classic leather boot which will transcend a few seasons.

Introduce the python trend into your closet with these pretty boots!

A velour sweatpants is not limited to those on retirement, it can be a valuable addition to create a trendy athleisure look.

I'm a big fan of skirts and sneakers, and this skirt ticks all the boxes for a cool and casual look.

Pop over to Superbalist and grab some of your essentials at reasonable prices!

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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