Friday 27 May 2016

The subtext of life

Hello dear readers, 
We have been blessed with another gorgeous day, this mornings sunrise was a combination of orange hues and fog, with a little bit of cloud scattering the dawn skies. 
This week has been filled with beautiful solemn moments, and perhaps they weren't all ecstatically happy moments, they were still filled with beauty. It's a blessing to see all of it, to experience each day with gratitude, for the good and bad. 
Earlier this week I had an interesting discussion with my second born around subtext, and how damaging it is. So often words are uttered with a hidden meaning, and that hidden meaning is intended to hurt or sting. The sting will be felt by the recipient, and yet it would seem as if you had said something that was seemingly kind and innocent. We discussed it for a bit, and he said that it is a norm in his peer group, that everybody says things that they do not mean, but has a different intention to what it seemed. It made me realise that adults do the same thing, when words are said with a (seemingly) simple meaning to the actual meaning. 
This is so damaging to society, and upon thinking about it, I realise that it is used everywhere. Politicians use it, media use it, advertising campaigns use it and parents use it. Statements are made with the intention of stirring emotion, and it may not look like it on the surface. As parents, we play a huge part in this, kids can pick up on unhappiness, tension and anxiety, and when they ask us if everything is ok, the answer is generally "Don't worry everything is fine...". By saying this we are teaching children to ignore their intuition, we are teaching them that even though they know something is not right, that it's ok to use untruths to soothe them. We teach them by example that subtext is the way to deal with each other, instead of just explaining in a simple manner what has really happened, or that something is indeed bothering you. Generally they may not need all the details, but just the assurance that what they feel is real, and that it is ok to verbalise it. By doing this we teach them to be honest in their dealings, it the kindest, most sincere way to function in society today. 
Honesty without the intention of inflicting hurt, is the most generous way to interact with people. Teenagers have so much to deal with as it is, and to add to it, by using subtext in almost every conversation, they will learn that they cannot trust their peers. They will learn to do the same, and because everybody is doing it, that is acceptable. They will instinctively feel when insincere words are being said, and in response they will accept it with artificial grace, but feeling the sting below the surface. 
I cannot stress how strongly I feel about this, about teaching our youth to be authentic with each other. This comes from us teaching our kids that it's ok to be themselves, that being themselves and loving themselves is the first step to successful relationships with others in society.

Today's OOTD features a light pink coat thrown over a lightly layered outfit. The day started out with sunshine and no clouds, and quickly changed to rainy and overcast, so I felt that even the weather held that subtext of a different intention. Hehe
A pair of leather ankle boots from two years ago finished off the outfit perfectly.

Outfit details:
New Look coat (bought abroad)
ZARA t-shirt 
Guess skinny jeans
Woolworths ankle boots
Michael Kors handbag
Scarf old
Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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Friday 20 May 2016

Without the darkness stars can't shine

TGIF Readers ❤

Today I breathe a huge sigh of relief that the end of this nightmarish week has arrived. I've had to look into and access some really dark places and then navigate my way back to being a supportive and strong parent and comforter.
There are certain events one never plans for, incidences that don't cross your mind, that you can never foresee you would have to prepare yourself (or family) for. This week my first born was faced with the tragic reality of the suicide of a classmate. A happy, always smiling, young man with whom he shared classes for almost 5 years. When the news hit, the school transformed into a sombre scene of tearful hugs and sobbing kids. 
The hardest part of this was seeing my son struggle with the emotion, the confusion and the sudden grief. It goes against the law of nature that young teens have to face questions around the mortality of a peer, more specifically the self inflicted mortality. It raises so many questions, the why, the what did I miss and 'was there anything I could've done to prevent it?'. I was at a loss for words, and couldn't find the assurances to make it all better to help him heal and move forward. So we sat together in silence for a long time, just processing the shock, grief and disbelief. Slowly he spoke, little titbits of information at first and then a barrage of how sad the situation was, how it was not fair that a life which shone so bright was extinguished, even if it was by his own hand. 

This incident brought back really dark times for me, and in some ways I could identify with that dark place this young man had found himself in. I could empathise with the feeling that as a teenager one may not be able to change the miserable circumstances you find yourself in, and that the only solution would be to just end it. I was fortunate enough to be able to clutch onto that little ray of hope that inspires one to do better, and be better and find better (whatever that may be). The reality of suicide is that the ray of hope had already been extinguished, and purpose had faded into nothingness. By the time one is in that place, it is so hard to find the way back alone. And as a teenager, it is imperative to find that someone who can talk you down, off the ledge and into a more hopeful space. 
There are many life events that my young man will encounter, and I know he will emerge stronger from trials, but as a parent I want him to know that I am here if he needs to talk. Even if we just sit in silence, he should know that we can work our way through any adversity together (if he needs) or he can heal in his own time (with me as backup support). He also needs to know and feel loved, and that in his darkest moments, that love won't waiver. 

Today's outfit, is a preppy comfortable look, a perfect mom-on-the-go outfit. A coated denim jeans with a lightweight knit, layered over a shirt for extra warmth. The Timberland boots were purchased abroad 2 years ago and recently I've seen the honey coloured pair at Sportscene.
The black is to symbolize the grief I felt this week and the dark moments our kids may find themselves in. 

"Without the darkness stars can't shine."

My outfit:
Mango V-neck knit
Banana Republic oversized shirt from Stuttafords
Soviet coated jeans
Timberland boots (purchased abroad)
Kate Spade bag (purchased abroad)
Scarf (old)
Accessorize Neckpiece

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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Tuesday 17 May 2016

OnQ Makeup Workshop

Hello readers, 

Winter is upon us, with cold frosty air outside, and heated interiors, our skin takes a beating. My skin usually gets dry, flaky and tight, a sure sign that a richer moisturiser is needed for winter.

In February I attended the OnQ Makeup Workshop, it was so informative and fun! Qaanita is such a dynamic person, and oh so talented with makeup. The venue was light and airy, and yummy snacks provided for some sustenance during the workshop.

I am usually overwhelmed with all the makeup around, there’s foundations, primers, BB creams, CC creams and foundation spray on products. Don’t even get me started on the endless array of makeup brushes… I always feel like I haven’t done quite the right thing with the products, or that I may have chosen the wrong shade. It used to be a mystery to me how to apply makeup and now I don’t feel as intimidated by the world of make up!  

Qaanita started off by stressing the importance of taking care of ones skin with correct cleansing, removing make up at night, drinking lots of water and getting regular monthly facials. I follow these steps religiously and include exfoliation, and a regular moisturising mask. My skin treatments are done at Biodermal Aesthetic Clinic in Wynberg, a clinic which specialises in non-invasive treatments. Read more here and here on some treatments I’ve had done.  Sunscreen is of utmost importance, and Qaanita shared some handy tips on applying sunscreen and foundation and products which function as a sunscreen, moisturiser and primer in one!

We were taken through make up application step by step, and you are requested to bring along your own makeup bag, so that you are able to practise with your own products and obtain some guidance from Qaanita. This is a great help,  as she is then able to direct you on what you’re currently using, and if it is the correct shade and product.

Participants were shown how to create specific looks, apply lashes and ask Qaanita to chat about specific concerns as well as her opinion and synthetic vs natural brushes. The morning was so much fun, it was small and personal, and every one had the opportunity to have their individual make up issues addressed. 
It was such a enjoyable morning, and the most important thing I took away from the workshop was the confidence to try different looks and even apply some lashes. And how to perfect your brows, and  finished off of course with a glam goodie bag.

If you’re feeling intimidated or overwhelmed by makeup and its application, fear not, Qaanita will be hosting another make up workshop on 13th August, book here.
It will be money well spent, because I actually save by not buying unneccessary products any longer!

‘Makeup is Art,
Spirit is Beauty” 
- OnQ Makeup

Photo: Shezan Photography for OnQ Makeup
Photo: Shezan Photography for OnQ Makeup
Photo: Shezan Photography for OnQ Makeup

Watch here:

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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Friday 13 May 2016

An angel stole my look!

Welcome lovely readers, 

Another week has passed and it has once again brought so many moments of gratitude. I am grateful for my family, my health, for work, for being able to assist those less fortunate and grateful to be able to make a difference in peoples lives. The comments on articles or posts I have written, and emails from readers mean so much to me, it feels like I am making a difference in a small way in somebody’s life.

I have encountered so many authentically amazing people on this journey of life, and that too is something I am eternally grateful for. It’s rare to come across individuals who are genuinely interested in giving back and helping each other. It's rare to find someone who doesn’t think: “What’s in it for me?”. And I have discovered so many who actually think (and say): “ I happy to help where I can.” , an army of angels I call them. An army who can uplift a dreary day, can give me inspiration when I feel like I don’t know which way to turn and will help me climb the ladder to better me. I may have mentioned this before, but I constantly feel like it needs to be reinforced. We are surrounded by envy, mistrust, unhappiness and individuals who are lost on a path and feel the need to drag others on that same doomed journey. I imagine that if this army spreads it’s positivity and inclusiveness, then we may start a constructive change. One where we all look at ourselves and our own shortfalls instead of focusing on those of others.

These ‘angels’ experience their own individual challenges in life, as we all do, but instead of berating life, it is looked at as an opportunity for self transformation. Challenges will always show up, it’s a constant in life, and so is change- and our attitude towards it will determine our outlook on life. It’s so much easier to traverse life with positivity and an awareness of our Creator and our transient roles on this earth. This supportive frame of mindset will neutralise all the back biting, the violence, the meanness and hate in our society- all appalling legacies to pass onto the next generation. 

“The most important journey you will take in your life will usually be the one of self transformation. Often, this is the scariest because it requires the greatest changes, in your life.” 

Today’s post is titled, ‘An angel stole my look!’ and it refers to a friend and fellow blogger who purchased the same dress as I did from local designer, and fellow angel, Human Image. Instead of being angry at her for buying the same piece, we decided to co-incide lookposts with this elegant sequin t-shirt dress. We have each decided to represent our individual styles instead of a ‘who wore it better’ theme. Since my style is varied and depends on my mood, I have opted to wear it for a morning brunch, over a white shirt and skinny jeans. This dress also works very well on its own for an evening out, with heels and leggings. I decided to go for an edgy, unconventional look, just to change it up a little bit.

Keep an eye on my social media to see who this mysterious angel is.

Outfit details:
Human Image sequin dress
Few and Far Collection white shirt
Woolworths skinny jeans
Black scarf old
Feather earrings old
Witchery statement ring
Lace up ZARA heels, own import
Rebecca Minkhoff fringe bag
Ralph Lauren sunglasses

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Tuesday 10 May 2016

Hope with Laughter Comedy Showcase X Ticket giveaway


Sharing Hope Foundation presents Hope with Laughter comedy showcase in aid of the Baphumelele Children’s Home Khayelitsha.

Baphumelele Children’s Home runs upliftment and community projects aimed at providing much needed help to the dire community of Khayelitsha. 
Among these projects are:
  • A Childrens home which provides a safe haven for orphaned and abandoned 110 children
  • An Educare centre
  • A soup kitchen
  • The Child Headed Homes Project
  • Hospice in homes project
  • A respite care centre, providing care for patients affected with HIV and TB
  • Clemens Care for kids, a respite care centre which caters for HIV infected children and 
  • The Foundation of Hope project, a former farm in Phillipi, a place for young adults to stay whilst being educated for the challenges of life ahead.”

Comedians on the line up are:

Kagiso ‘KG’ Modagi
Carl Weber
Yaaseen Barnes
Stuart Cairns
Phil De Lange

Further details on the flyer below:

Feel free to book via or contact
Fatima Wise 0760484389
Tickets cost R150 each

I will also be giving away two tickets to one lucky reader, just follow the steps below:
  1. Follow my twitter page here: @rubereloaded
  2. Share the event via social media
  3. Comment below to let me know how you have shared.
Giveaway ends 20 May 2016 at 16h00
Good Luck!

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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Friday 6 May 2016

A Lookpost with appreciation

Hello again readers, 

This week has seen the usual commercial build up to Mother’s Day, a day to celebrate all mothers and for children to ponder on their importance in our lives. 
I am a mom, a momtrepeneur working from home and keeping the home fires burning whilst my other half works away from the home. I certainly appreciate the fuss around Mother’s Day, and all that it encompasses, however I do feel that moms are to celebrated everyday. In fact parents should be celebrated everyday. 
Mother’s Day may signify a day to remind everyone to show appreciation, and it really doesn’t have to be in the commercial way we are being conditioned to think. Mother’s fulfil such an integral role in the home every day that children should be appreciative every day, our younger ones generally do this as part of showing their love. But as they grow older, and become teenagers, the unadulterated appreciation wanes and is replaced by the occasional surly thank you or quick hug. It is our young adults who are finding themselves, who should take the time to think about how much parents actually do and the life they provide. I would love it if my kids just acknowledged that their sports clothes are laundered and ready on time each day, and took a moment to realise it didn’t just magically appear. I would love it if they realised that Dad had to come straight from work to sit and wait way past sunset until sports practice is done, or that he has to play taxi at all hours of the night.  For me, the thankfulness for the daily labour of raising kids, the daily struggles is what will make me feel special.
On the reverse, we need to show gratitude to our kids when they do little things for us. My second born, regularly makes me an evening cup of tea, my firstborn saying ‘Thank you for waiting for me” or “ I’m sorry I was five minutes late.”, and my youngest who, without prompting offers foot rubs - all of these make me feel treasured and appreciated and I am intent on always expressing my gratitude. 
So even though I enjoy the Mother’s Day treats and being acknowledged for everything I do, I would also like to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for my kids. 
For the light they’ve brought to our lives, for the challenges we face, and lessons learnt through them and for giving unconditional love.

Today’s outfit features the very popular t-shirt dress, which can be found in most stores. Paired wth leggings, a statement neckpiece and flat booties it makes a for a very trendy mom look. It is modest, comfortable and can be worn in so many different ways, the t-shirt dress will see popularity for a while to come.

Outfit details:
H&M T-shirt dress and beanie
Forever 21 leggings
Rebecca Minkhoff fringe bag
Green Cross booties
Ralph Lauren sunglasses from Sunglass Hut (overseas)
Various bracelets stacked
American Swiss cuff earring
Ziba Styles neckpiece

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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