Transformational March 2022

 Hey there lovelies! 

It feels really good to be penning down my thoughts on this space of mine. I have had so many musings whirling around my head since December, but no opportunity (read inspiration) to return to my blog. My inspiration is slowly returning, after a spending the first two months of 2022 on getting my head into the right space, and gathering my strength again after being extremely burnt out. 

The effects of this pandemic reaches beyond the physical health, or financial impact; it has affected every single person in so many ways, which is not clearly seen or understood. These effects are long lasting, and so subtle, it can slip by unnoticed. As a social person who was always out and about pre-Covid, I initially felt that the isolation as a good thing, that spending time on my own was the best opportunity to connect with my inner self. However, at some point the insulation from the world seemed too safe, while the outside world was in the throes of uncertainty, being torn apart by an unknown virus. The unpredictability of life was a constant, it was impossible to plan for anything, and the fear of the loss of loved ones remains a constant. The seclusion was therefore a 'protective bubble' which became all too comfortable, making it so easy to retreat from the world.

It gradually dawned on me that the human connection outside of my home is something I needed and thrive on. Engaging with like-minded individuals, or just sitting in a restaurant on my own (surrounded by people) is a form of healing for me. Further to this, the state of quarantine was not a healthy one for my mindset, I missed seeing the mountains, oceans and scenery outside of the home. I missed going out to a movie, I missed the impromptu lunches and date nights. These are now things which I hold dear, for which I am grateful and appreciate with all of my being. The positive effect of the pandemic has been that I am immensely grateful for all the blessings I am fortunate to experience each and every day. The little things which may have gone unnoticed before, are now starkly recognised as the Divine gifts that they are.

I feel as if 2022 brought with it an emergence from almost two years of limbo, where nothing was certain and everything felt strange. It's no wonder anxiety was at an all time high and mental health very tenuous. I spent so much of my time being worried and concerned, for my family, my parents, elders and vulnerable members, that I may somehow transmit this virus unknowingly. That I might be the cause of illness for the vulnerable, it felt heavy and I struggled to shift it for a long time. There were many hours of distress for mu business, and livelihoods of those close to me. At the same time, I was fully aware of the importance of taking care of my own mental health; and my self-care routines and rest became non-negotiable and my most important coping mechanisms to help navigate this new uncertain 'normal'. I revived my healthy habits which the pre-COVID rat race dictated as unnecessary, and they are now a key part of every day.

So March officially feels like a blossoming, a fresh start in this new world we're voyaging into. There are still many unknowns, and possibly many more valleys to shuffle through, but my FAITH has been significantly fortified by the trials and lessons of the past two years Algamdulilah.

It is therefore appropriate to mark this transformation with a photo shoot, it's a new dawn, a new day and I'm feeling on top of the world. Whatever lessons may come across my path, I feel stronger, equipped and supported by the Divine 💖

Photos by the incredible Pixels Photography...

Makeup by JustFadz

 

Outfit details: 

H & M Shirt 

Asos T-shirt

Zara Pants

Nike Sneakers

Scarf old

Ciao for now,

RuBe xoxo

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A Quarter Century plus One

 Hi lovelies, 

It's been ages since I even ventured to this page and 'penned' my thoughts, this space, which is usually where I go to to express my thoughts. However, I have been re-reading my older posts, and re-visiting some of my insights and revelations which I have experienced along my journey. 

But this week, my upcoming anniversary felt like the right time to return. This month is always a reflective one, where I look back at the year that has passed, and years before that. I use this time to see how much I have grown, how my family has flourished; and to give gratitude for every single blessing Algamdulilah. This is a period of reset for me, and despite the current challenges faced in my industry, I take stock of my intentions and plans (usually set during the month of Ramadaan) and continue to look ahead. 

Today marks my 26th anniversary, our celebratory vacation last year was cancelled, this year we had planned it for early in 2022 and I remain hopeful that we will get to travel soon again InshaAllah. As I sat and contemplated this past year (in fact the past two), I am humbled at the blessings and favours that have been bestowed upon me through this time. There were times where I broke down, tears streaming down my face as I prayed for guidance and strength. There were occasions when husby had to pick me up, console me, talk me through the trials I faced, and just be there for me at my lowest moments. And through these lows, I have persevered, WE have persevered, and grown in mutual understanding. Our family unit has bonded and become closer, taking care to continue

So today's post is one of humble gratitude, for the trials we have weathered together, and more importantly, the deepening friendship and love that has accompanied us on this journey over the past two years. When lockdown hit, we were placed in each other's space 24/7, and since we haven't returned to office, we've continued working from home, together. If we can make it through almost two years of being around each other for 2 years... we  can make it through anything ♥

I therefore dedicate this post to my long-time partner, my soul mate, best friend, cheerleader and sounding board. For all the patience, dedication and commitment you have towards us and our family. 

My love,

As the sands of time pass by, 

We become more entwined, more in sync;

Our thoughts mirrored in the other, 

Comforted by understanding of the road the other has travelled.

These months have tested our resolve, 

It has shown us the beauty of Divine Love and Blessing, 

These months have taught us the essence of faith and humility. 

And through it

We have grown, as individuals, as a partnership, as a family unit;

We have grown as parents and our charges have shown us the light. 

Our days have been uncertain, still is; 

But what is certain is that I'll be in your corner, 

And you in mine, 

Quietly supporting and loudly applauding.

I remain in awe of the blessing you have brought to my life,

Constantly aware of how my my Creator loves me, 

To have placed you on my path. 

I remain honoured to be by your side, 

Through thick and thin, 

As you fight for us and our family...

As you love us unconditionally, 

Keep us safe and as you serve us with your entire being.

I love you, 

Always,

I love you, 

to Infinity

Happy Anniversary my Rock 

♥️

Caio for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Another milestone Ameer, turns 21!

 Welcome lovelies, 

As I sit down to honour my second born on his 21st birthday, I am overwhelmed with emotion: for the huge milestone of having another young adult in my home and for the absolutely demanding year and all that we have weathered in our little home. Lockdown hit my second born the hardest, he is the most outgoing and social; he loves his campus life, went to gym on a daily basis and used to spend at least 2 nights a week playing soccer. When we entered level 5 of lockdown, all his activities came to an abrupt halt, and life went into hibernation mode. He's always been a busy young man, evidenced by his early  impatience to become easily mobile, as a result he was already sauntering about way before his 1st birthday.

Throughout his life, he has striven for excellence, mastering every single task he undertook with unwavering focus. Every single challenge was embraced and dealt with ease, ensuring that he navigated his first 21 years with many opportunities to learn and expand his horizons. We have indeed been Divinely gifted with this young man placed upon our path, he has brought enlightenment, immense growth and personal development. He is testimony to the beauty and suitability of The Divine Plan.♥️

Being a parent to another 21 year old young man is a massive responsibility, a sacred duty which I take seriously. Parenting has resulted in an expanding of my own horizons; it has meant being faced with my shortcomings and learning to navigate with this knowledge. I am more aware now of what being a parent is all about; as I look back fondly at the simpler times, where it was all important to complete a collection of Pokemon tokens, or scoring goals in his club soccer match. Parenting young adults is fraught with different trials and new lessons, it distinctly highlights how much you have grown, from when idealistically set out on this journey. While being a young adult means they're stepping into the world of adulthood, my heart still holds them close as my 'babies' and I can vividly remember our bonding moments where they could fit snugly in my lap. My most precious memories being of feeding time, where the world stood still as my body nourished these little humans. This alone was one of the wonderful parenting duties I am most grateful to have been able to perform. Or reading before bedtime... or bath time or the very first day at school. These moments are countless, and keep me warm and fuzzy through those times when I start to feel the inevitable separation. 

Ameer, as you stand on the cusp of adulthood, I take this moment to honour your presence in my (and our) life:

 

My adventurous, fearless and bold young soul, 

You have ensured that our home is lively

With your busy energy and abundant bustle.

The thirst for knowledge driving you to search for answers,

To questions most don't even contemplate.

The wonders of the world has always captured your imagination,

Enthralling you, enveloping you.

Your engaging presence draws many to your side, 

And some of your friendships have lasted longer than your school years.

Fiercely loyal, with a caring nature, 

And a fun-loving character, 

You bring sunshine and cheer to the dark. 

Your name means leader,

A role you adopt with ease,

As you traverse your way on the path of life. 

My prayer for you, is to always be true to yourself,

Be kind and be happy.

May your days be filled, living your purpose, 

May they be filled with moments which makes your soul smile,

And your Heart soar 💗

Above all, 

Celebrate your identity of a proud Muslim young man, 

Creating your own path under Divine Guidance. 

With this in your armoury

You'll conquer those mountains as you ascend the mountains and hills before you.

We love and honour you, 

Always,

Our Ameer 

At 6 months old and already a whopping 10kg

You were a bookworm and enjoyed reading ... 

Pine Lake adventures date back 20 years

Always climbing and clambering

A die-hard Barca fan 

Still living for soccer as a 21 year old!

You observe the world through your own unique lens

And the tallest guy in our home, towering over us all

18 months ago at your older brothers 21st, when gatherings were still allowed

Working on your speech as a tribute to big brother

The 'Ameer Pose'

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

 

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2021 Lessons, Contemplation & Parenting

 Hi lovelies!! 💖

Welcome to my first post of 2021, I had taken some time to reflect on the learnings of 2020, the growth, lessons learnt, and try as best as possible to chart a course for 2021. Charting my course by no means indicates that I am able to look into a crystal ball and be able to formulate a concrete way forward. Instead, what has become increasingly crucial is the personal care, being present with my loved ones and creating moments filled with joy. At a time like this we access the memory bank and relive joyful moments to restore hope and satisfy the yearning.

January was indeed a turbulent month on many fronts, work has been this way for almost a year and it seems as if January has become the time for my rite of passage into a new parenting phase. Parenting teaches us so much, it humbles and at the same time makes my heart soar; and it also has moments of distress and moments when gentle support is required. As a parent, I am finely tuned into the energies of my kids, I can tell when they are happy or sad, anxious or heartbroken. And yet, I have to be respectful enough to ask if they need support or comfort, and if not, to be comfortable to leave them at that moment. It takes every ounce of self restraint to create the space for them to deal with an issue and know that I'll be ready to step in when they are ready to talk. 

These past two weeks have tested all my relationships, the most notable being the relationship with myself. It is learned a behaviour to be harsh on myself and to set exceptionally high standards. I am my own worst critic and I have to consciously remain mindful to practice kindness on myself first. Among all the roles I fulfil: entrepreneur, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and confidant I lose myself in the giving and nurturing of others. It takes some serious introspection (and time out from all these roles) to realise when I have expended too much energy, whether in the holding of safe spaces for others or when sacrificing my me-time. 

However, during this pandemic, it has become easier to maintain my self care routines, and catch the old patterns from resurfacing. It will always be something to be aware of as I navigate my roles, and it seems that this past year has really intensified all the feels and needs. It required a stepping up and vigilance, which meant that depleting my energy happens so subtly, it is only when I'm weary that the reality hits home. The inability to tell from day to day what may/may not transpire has also added anxiety which has never been there before, the reality that life is not guaranteed to anyone.  The transient nature of life has been starkly highlighted with all the deaths we have suffered, and being unable to visit or attend the funeral causes further heartache. Not being able to say a final farewell makes it all seem so unreal, as if we are living in an alternate universe. The grieving process looks so different, the act of consoling loved ones now an awkward, socially distanced sharing of comforting words and prayers. I have now added attending a virtual funeral via Zoom to the list of firsts experienced during this pandemic. The constant barrage of death notices, prayer requests spurs you to call your loved ones, just to hear their voices if you cannot see them. 

All of this surrounds me and merges with all the roles I play, resulting in the need for continuous self reflection. To understand the impact of all this on my consciousness, to grasp the gravity of the situation and to accept that I cannot change anything except my own reaction and survival mechanisms. Added to this is the parenting of 1 young teenager and 2 young adults who all have their own experiences and challenges as they journey through these uncertain times. I can only model behaviour to ensure that they see conscious healing in practice, that they understand that whatever they may need is within them, just waiting to be activated. It is also important for them to know that it is ok not to have all the answers, or to make mistakes; it emulates our humanness so eloquently. 

The key learning from last year is to embrace my humanness, to accept my flaws and let go of the burden of the want to control each and every outcome; and to understand that this is how my Creator intended for it be. January was the month of integrating these learnings even deeper than before. I have understood and experienced grief in varying forms, and have had to access the strength deep within, to be able to unapologetically stand in my truth and authenticity. My young human charges need me to be kind to myself and show up for myself more than they require anything else; in that I am able to engage the energy to be of service. Awaking each morning with immense gratitude, and being especially kind to my body, taking care of this most magnificent Divine gift.

This lookpost features a dress from iera Designs which I recently wore to the launch of  her hijab studio in Rylands. I have paired it with a belt and a pair of wedge sandals to dress it up a bit. The launch of a studio in these trying times, is indeed a promising sign of eternal hope and highlights the resilient nature of an entrepreneur. It is a spark to ignite a fire which will hopefully warm those souls feeling the constant drum of despair.

Dress by iera Designs

ZARA sandals

Kate Spade handbag

Chanel sunglasses

Poetry scarf

Witchery leather belt

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Emerging from Lockdown

Hey lovelies!

It's sure been a while since I last 'put pen to paper' to share some thoughts. To be honest, during lockdown my inspiration felt low, there really wasn't much that I wanted to say. I took a break from social media and found that it helped to cut down on some platforms which felt overwhelmingly toxic. It felt as if the emotions, uncertainty and confusion were all over the social media platforms, running amok in posts, comments and subtexts. These past few months have really required me to go inward, and take the time to examine what this pandemic has meant to me. And while I was immensely grateful and mindful for all of my blessings, there were some dark moments, some tearful moments, some Aha! moments and some deep thought provoking moments. 

For me, it was a time to evaluate and assess what I wanted to expend my energy on and who I wanted to share my energy with. During this time, it became increasingly clear what I needed to do for myself, for my family and for business.  I have undergone several fundamental shifts in my mindset, prompted by the enforced solitude and deep introspection. I awoke every day, with an abundance of gratitude, to my Creator for granting me another day to serve HIM. While around me I heard of new infections every day, close family members and friends losing the fight against the pandemic with loved ones in mourning; I was more aware than ever that every day was a gift. It became crystal clear how we take our health for granted; and how this crazy time has highlighted the importance of our well-being. The impact that all the sudden fatalities had on me was that I realised how blessed I am to be loved, to have loved ones around and to be able to spend time with them. 

All the other stuff, although still important, was secondary. Even as our business ground to a sudden halt, with a very slow recovery envisioned, what is evident was that as mere mortals we are in control of nothing. In this realisation, there is no other alternative but to turn to our faith and rely on Divine Guidance, which the noise of the world drowns out. This time of quiet, where the entire world was forced into isolation for an extended period of time, showed us more than anything, that complete submission to the Divine was the only way to overcome this. Without warning, the global village found itself fighting the same invisible enemy, with no cure in the immediate future. Economies stood still, airlines were grounded and food and shelter became the most important commodities. We found ourselves longing for the simple things, which lockdown restricted. Being able to experience the sea air, take a walk in nature, take the kids to the park and visiting our loved became luxuries we hoped for . 

Life was in limbo and governments dictated our movements, national curfews implemented forced the youth to spend evenings at home with their families. Kids started yearning to be back at school, to have a conversation with a friend, to complete their school work outside of the home environment; and people appreciated their jobs as others found themselves out of work. For every person, the perspective on life has been altered forever. 

As we emerge from a full national lockdown, into a 'new normal', we turn to the small things to bring back a sense of balance. For me the first thing I wanted to do was inhale the sea air and just sit back and watch the waves. I take pleasure in observing the wonders and beauty of nature, which had been denied to me for months. Being able to go out for a meal (not cooked by me) is a treat, and catching up with a friend/family member in person is a cherished moment. The person who went into lockdown is not the same person who emerged from the cocoon to Level 1. Priorities have been re-organised, my daily gratitude practices have been integrated, I understand my value and will walk on my path keeping this knowledge close. I am mindful of the greatest gift I have been bestowed and that is the blessing of being uniquely ME. There is no other version of me in the entire universe, and nobody can be me, nor do what I what I am predestined to do. My Divine purpose is to embrace the entirety of my being, and as I emerge from lockdown, this will remain my biggest priority.

These are my post-lockdown images. During lockdown, I made a conscious decision not to purchase any clothing, accessories or shoes, as I wanted to experiment with what was in my closet. I have to admit that it barely affected me. While everyone was purchasing loungewear, I was unearthing my sweats and keeping some outfits on rotation for Zoom sessions and the occasional trip to the store. Therefore my lookpost below features some oldies from the closet and a pair of sneakers thrifted from my son, which he outgrew. I have combined sweats with a dressy skirt for a bit of a change from the lockdown uniform of full on sweats. I am hopeful to carry this minimal shopping ideology forward into my 'new normal'. 

PS: I have also reactivated my online pre-loved store, go on and have a look here. 

What are your greatest epiphanies unearthed during this past few months?

Outfit Details:

Mango Sweat top

Human Image skirt

Chimpel leather bag

Giorgio Armani sunglasses

Vans sneakers (thrifted)

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

 

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