Friday, 21 October 2016

Are we losing Compassion?

Hello lovelies!

It's rather strange waking up to the sound of softly falling rain, after the beautiful week we have had. But in true Cape Town style, we have been blessed with some rain after the intense heat, a bit of a respite I suppose. And just like the Cape Town weather, we have a diverse and mixed society- visible in the way we handle adversities.

Last week a terrible incident of cyber bullying was trending, and shared and removed... and shared again. People started bullying the cyber bully... And things went downhill and became ugly very fast. It was an issue that was discussed at length with my sons, and how they feel it should have been handled. We had one son feeling very compassionate towards the bully while my other son felt that the bully's subsequent public humiliation was well deserved. And while I try to encourage them to have their own opinions, voice them and debate respectfully, I found myself horrified that my son would feel the bully deserved it. I felt that I had taught him to be compassionate and kind, and yet... when it came down to dealing with something as horrific as the video that the entire world sensationalised, I could see that it really depends on your own personal point of reference. 
My son was not bullied, he is not a bully, but having experienced a peer's teenage suicide earlier this year, he can only view bullying with extreme disdain. This specific suicide of his classmate was not bullying related, however the reality remains that teenagers are struggling with so many issues nowadays,  and adding to their woes by cyber bullying them was just intolerable to him. Needless to say, after many debates, I was unable to sway his perception, but I'll continue to try and insert some compassion!

And my other son was really compassionate, he was worried about the state of mind that the bully was in to feel it necessary to lash out at someone in such a public and cruel manner. And it further disturbed him to see how children and adults alike responded with bullying, name calling, insults and profane language being directed back at this young individual. Whatever her background story may be, and may well be filled with trauma; retaliating by humiliating her would just wound her even more. I felt that we let ourselves down as society when we feel justified in breaking someone down who is clearly troubled and in need of some benevolence. As a society, we did not stop to consider what may have triggered her behaviour, we did not first offer help. I would like to believe that the bully has at least been offered the support to deal with whatever the issue may be. I would like to believe that there were as many people empathetic towards the bully as there were people enraged with her behaviour. 

I cannot comment on the feeling of a parent whose child has been bullied. I can only imagine the despair, the anger, the helplessness they must feel. It must have been so difficult to encounter this cyber bullying video, while being in the position of instinctively needing to protect the bullied. We live in an unfortunate society where our system and resources cannot assist all victims, nor counsel all perpetrators in our schools today. Bullying incidences do not all make it to social media, they remain underlying societal problems with parents fighting desperately to resolve them and restore a sense of safety for the kids. The question remains: what can we do to help the system, to assist resources? Can our schools not appeal for funding to engage corporate giants to sponsor workshops? An intervention is crucial, and just as we are passionate about abuse, domestic violence, can we not start an anti cyberbullying programme? One which provides support for both the bully and the bullied? 
If anyone knows of any programme like this, please comment below and let me know. 
Our youth are the next generation, and it is our responsibility to equip them with compassion, strength, leadership and the ability to know right from wrong. If we fail, we fail society, we fail the divine responsibility we have all been trusted with to ensure that we lead and develop our future generations.

So today's outfit post is a quirky one, an unconventional one which is intended to show that I am proudly me. I am confident enough to wear an unusual ensemble (because it reflects who I am) to an event, without being concerned of what others may think. Here I have paired a traditionally conservative tropical print dress, with sneakers and a leather jacket to add some character to my outfit. 
This is me.



















Outfit details:
Trenery tropical print midi dress
Urban leather jacket from Asos (old)
Adidas ZA Stan Smith sneakers
Black silk scarf (old)
Kate Spade handbag bought abroad
Lovisa black crystal necklace

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo