Friday 5 February 2021

2021 Lessons, Contemplation & Parenting

 Hi lovelies!! 💖

Welcome to my first post of 2021, I had taken some time to reflect on the learnings of 2020, the growth, lessons learnt, and try as best as possible to chart a course for 2021. Charting my course by no means indicates that I am able to look into a crystal ball and be able to formulate a concrete way forward. Instead, what has become increasingly crucial is the personal care, being present with my loved ones and creating moments filled with joy. At a time like this we access the memory bank and relive joyful moments to restore hope and satisfy the yearning.

January was indeed a turbulent month on many fronts, work has been this way for almost a year and it seems as if January has become the time for my rite of passage into a new parenting phase. Parenting teaches us so much, it humbles and at the same time makes my heart soar; and it also has moments of distress and moments when gentle support is required. As a parent, I am finely tuned into the energies of my kids, I can tell when they are happy or sad, anxious or heartbroken. And yet, I have to be respectful enough to ask if they need support or comfort, and if not, to be comfortable to leave them at that moment. It takes every ounce of self restraint to create the space for them to deal with an issue and know that I'll be ready to step in when they are ready to talk. 

These past two weeks have tested all my relationships, the most notable being the relationship with myself. It is learned a behaviour to be harsh on myself and to set exceptionally high standards. I am my own worst critic and I have to consciously remain mindful to practice kindness on myself first. Among all the roles I fulfil: entrepreneur, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and confidant I lose myself in the giving and nurturing of others. It takes some serious introspection (and time out from all these roles) to realise when I have expended too much energy, whether in the holding of safe spaces for others or when sacrificing my me-time. 

However, during this pandemic, it has become easier to maintain my self care routines, and catch the old patterns from resurfacing. It will always be something to be aware of as I navigate my roles, and it seems that this past year has really intensified all the feels and needs. It required a stepping up and vigilance, which meant that depleting my energy happens so subtly, it is only when I'm weary that the reality hits home. The inability to tell from day to day what may/may not transpire has also added anxiety which has never been there before, the reality that life is not guaranteed to anyone.  The transient nature of life has been starkly highlighted with all the deaths we have suffered, and being unable to visit or attend the funeral causes further heartache. Not being able to say a final farewell makes it all seem so unreal, as if we are living in an alternate universe. The grieving process looks so different, the act of consoling loved ones now an awkward, socially distanced sharing of comforting words and prayers. I have now added attending a virtual funeral via Zoom to the list of firsts experienced during this pandemic. The constant barrage of death notices, prayer requests spurs you to call your loved ones, just to hear their voices if you cannot see them. 

All of this surrounds me and merges with all the roles I play, resulting in the need for continuous self reflection. To understand the impact of all this on my consciousness, to grasp the gravity of the situation and to accept that I cannot change anything except my own reaction and survival mechanisms. Added to this is the parenting of 1 young teenager and 2 young adults who all have their own experiences and challenges as they journey through these uncertain times. I can only model behaviour to ensure that they see conscious healing in practice, that they understand that whatever they may need is within them, just waiting to be activated. It is also important for them to know that it is ok not to have all the answers, or to make mistakes; it emulates our humanness so eloquently. 

The key learning from last year is to embrace my humanness, to accept my flaws and let go of the burden of the want to control each and every outcome; and to understand that this is how my Creator intended for it be. January was the month of integrating these learnings even deeper than before. I have understood and experienced grief in varying forms, and have had to access the strength deep within, to be able to unapologetically stand in my truth and authenticity. My young human charges need me to be kind to myself and show up for myself more than they require anything else; in that I am able to engage the energy to be of service. Awaking each morning with immense gratitude, and being especially kind to my body, taking care of this most magnificent Divine gift.

This lookpost features a dress from iera Designs which I recently wore to the launch of  her hijab studio in Rylands. I have paired it with a belt and a pair of wedge sandals to dress it up a bit. The launch of a studio in these trying times, is indeed a promising sign of eternal hope and highlights the resilient nature of an entrepreneur. It is a spark to ignite a fire which will hopefully warm those souls feeling the constant drum of despair.

Dress by iera Designs
ZARA sandals
Kate Spade handbag
Chanel sunglasses
Poetry scarf
Witchery leather belt

1 comment:

  1. These words resonate! As always beautifully written and your sharing of life lessons and your wisdom is always something I look forward to.