Friday, 20 May 2016

Without the darkness stars can't shine

TGIF Readers ❤

Today I breathe a huge sigh of relief that the end of this nightmarish week has arrived. I've had to look into and access some really dark places and then navigate my way back to being a supportive and strong parent and comforter.
There are certain events one never plans for, incidences that don't cross your mind, that you can never foresee you would have to prepare yourself (or family) for. This week my first born was faced with the tragic reality of the suicide of a classmate. A happy, always smiling, young man with whom he shared classes for almost 5 years. When the news hit, the school transformed into a sombre scene of tearful hugs and sobbing kids. 
The hardest part of this was seeing my son struggle with the emotion, the confusion and the sudden grief. It goes against the law of nature that young teens have to face questions around the mortality of a peer, more specifically the self inflicted mortality. It raises so many questions, the why, the what did I miss and 'was there anything I could've done to prevent it?'. I was at a loss for words, and couldn't find the assurances to make it all better to help him heal and move forward. So we sat together in silence for a long time, just processing the shock, grief and disbelief. Slowly he spoke, little titbits of information at first and then a barrage of how sad the situation was, how it was not fair that a life which shone so bright was extinguished, even if it was by his own hand. 

This incident brought back really dark times for me, and in some ways I could identify with that dark place this young man had found himself in. I could empathise with the feeling that as a teenager one may not be able to change the miserable circumstances you find yourself in, and that the only solution would be to just end it. I was fortunate enough to be able to clutch onto that little ray of hope that inspires one to do better, and be better and find better (whatever that may be). The reality of suicide is that the ray of hope had already been extinguished, and purpose had faded into nothingness. By the time one is in that place, it is so hard to find the way back alone. And as a teenager, it is imperative to find that someone who can talk you down, off the ledge and into a more hopeful space. 
There are many life events that my young man will encounter, and I know he will emerge stronger from trials, but as a parent I want him to know that I am here if he needs to talk. Even if we just sit in silence, he should know that we can work our way through any adversity together (if he needs) or he can heal in his own time (with me as backup support). He also needs to know and feel loved, and that in his darkest moments, that love won't waiver. 

Today's outfit, is a preppy comfortable look, a perfect mom-on-the-go outfit. A coated denim jeans with a lightweight knit, layered over a shirt for extra warmth. The Timberland boots were purchased abroad 2 years ago and recently I've seen the honey coloured pair at Sportscene.
The black is to symbolize the grief I felt this week and the dark moments our kids may find themselves in. 

"Without the darkness stars can't shine."













My outfit:
Mango V-neck knit
Banana Republic oversized shirt from Stuttafords
Soviet coated jeans
Timberland boots (purchased abroad)
Kate Spade bag (purchased abroad)
Scarf (old)
Accessorize Neckpiece

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo