Friday, 29 April 2016

Defying the rules

Happy Friday everyone! 

April has reached an end and it seems as if this year is passing by in a flash. In fact I feel the need to hit the pause button so that I can finish all those things on my to do list. Like a pipe dream, that’s never going to happen, so it’s better to get on with it than to lament time passed. 
This week I have been challenged on so many levels with my teens that I feel exhausted mentally and physically. I appreciate that my kids have their own opinions and feel comfortable justifying their viewpoints, but when it comes to discipline time, I do not need to enter into a vehement debate about it. For what seems like hours. 
Debate. 
Back and forth.
I have found this happening more often lately, even though we have rules and of course, consequences when rules or social boundaries have been broken. In my home the message behind rules and consequences is to make them aware from a young age that in society the same applies, if laws are broken there will be consequences (punishment). What has been happening recently is that the rules in the home are starting to evolve, out of discussion and debate, so that it can be understood and followed by the young folk. Constant communication and feedback is key, and I attempt this frequently in the crazy pace of life. To be honest, it would be easier to let it just go and not be flexible, and enforce rules without my kids being able to voice their feelings on the matter. But it would teach them that their voices are not important, it would set a precedent of following instruction without being able to contribute. 
It is such a great responsibility raising children, and more importantly raising children who are kind, considerate yet able to stick their values and morals in a society where these factors are declining. There are so many instances where it would be easier to let it slide, instead of engaging in a long drawn out debate on the whys and why nots. Parenting is a full time job, a thankless daily toil where one has to be present and aware of how external factors such as society, celebrity influences, and peer interactions affect the way you parent. And what you choose to discuss, or the rules you decide on to assist them to become the best versions of themselves. 
Upon reflection, I have had a difficult parenting week, because it took so much energy to constantly engage on a higher frequency, all the while trying to fulfil all my other roles. But it has been productive too, and I can see the change in my teens after a hectic lecture and debate. We’ve finally reached a cease fire where the punishment meted out was accepted without fight, attitude or even a sulk, more importantly the need for it was understood. 
That in itself is progress for me. 
On the topic of rules, today’s outfit is one I wore to the Mercedes Benz Bokeh South Africa International Film Festival last week. I had played around with wearing a beautiful gown from my wardrobe, and decided to be different (and defy the general rules of dressing) and wore a structured gold cocoon dress by local designer, Fortune, which I have had not an opportunity to wear yet. The weather was atrocious, wet and cold, so I accessorized and kept warm with a fur stole. A heavy turban and leather leggings finished off the outfit.














Outfit details:
Gold dress by Fortune Clothing from Spree (shop here)
Fur stole (old)
Pashmina wrapped as a turban (old)
Shutz heels
Necklace from Superbalist (shop here)
Honey earrings
Vickson leather and gold ball clutch (old)
Makeup by ME

Caio for now,
RuBe xoxo