Friday 15 February 2019

Making my Circle Smaller


Hi lovelies, 

My first lookpost of 2019! Wow I cannot believe that January has already passed and we're already into week 2 of February! I feel as if I have been working for months already. Someone sent a meme in one of our watsapp groups which read "January was a tough year but we made it"🤭 It was so appropriate! Was your January so hectic as well?

Since my return from my travels, I have literally had my head down, in serious work mode. There have been occasional down times, but shew it's not only been busy, it's been rough! Despite this, I am, as always, thankful for lessons I've learnt through trials and continue to have faith that I am exactly where I am meant to be, doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. Faith is my only anchor to hold onto when I find myself flung from side to side along this road of life. And through it all I have a select few who stop along their own path, check that I'm ok and help me out if needed, before continuing on their own path. Four of them live in my home, others are scattered, some are even on a different continent. And yet, they are not too caught up in drama to stop, check in and then move along on their own journey.

It's a sobering realisation when you're man down, and cannot do much, not even cook for your family, when you see who steps into your space to help out. I've always known who these special people are, who are quietly in my corner, through the good times and the bad times. I've heard many people talk about how small their circles become when they decide to take care of themselves first, and no longer allow themselves to be mistreated. I get it, 100%. It seems as if self care is not allowed, a frivolous luxury even, and yet it is essential for connection. Connection being a genuine relationship with another, without the expectation of anything in return.

Apart from being sobering, the culling of my circle has been a difficult one, but also a liberating one. It's liberating to know that I don't have to be on my guard in conversations, for fear of saying the wrong thing, or that I need to show up in a particular way to please someone else. In my circles, I am accepted wholeheartedly, for speaking the truth, and being authentically me. I have had to hone the skill of knowing when there is no place for my authentic self in a situation; these are the times I have to walk away, without the need to justify me. In order to be true to myself, take care of myself, and honour my Creator, I cannot deny who I am. I cannot deny what my purpose is, or the truth, no matter how painful it may be. The hardest lesson of introspection is learning about what's happening within, it means being at peace with how I was constructed by the Almighty. I cannot take on anybody else's opinion on that, or let it influence me in my interactions in the world.

So I am navigating my way with a smaller circle, of people who matter, and to whom I matter. Ultimately this is important to me, for those who matter to me, make the effort to show up authentically and tell me the truth even when its ugly. And that too is ok, at the end of the day, it's hard to dispute true facts. And yet, in today's society it becomes a play on words to make the ugly truth seem more acceptable. Hiding from the truth, or pretending that something hasn't happened has become a skill we're modelling for our kids. I refuse to stand by and play a part in this. I have young men who look to me as a guide on how to to traverse the tough terrain of society, and I would want them to see that truth, and authenticity is the only way to do it . Furthermore, I am also fully conscious of the fact that whilst I do my best, I am still learning; and saying this to my kids is such an open authentic way,  means that it has taken away a lot of the stress of parenting (not all though!). So any wise words on parenting (at this point it's more like guiding since they're young adults) is always welcome :-D

The outfit in this look has been in my wardrobe since September I think, and I just didn't have the time to open the packaging, steam and wear. I was a bit intense with work, so I missed a quite a bit late last year. I'm now catching up, with a view to plan some me time. This floral ensemble reminds me of happy tropical holidays, and just brightens up the day.

 



















Outfit: 
Floral Suit from What Ladies Luv
Witchery heels
Country Road Belt
Accessorise bag
Zulululu earrings
Kashka Scarf

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo


2 comments:

  1. These excerpt below from your " Make your circle smaller blog " relate to exactly what I and many other women are experiencing. You have phrased this beautifully. Since my return from Haj I too have taken this stance and for me it was and is the best decision I could have made for myself.So Good for you Rushda ! "It's liberating to know that I don't have to be on my guard in conversations, for fear of saying the wrong thing, or that I need to show up in a particular way to please someone else. In my circles, I am accepted wholeheartedly, for speaking the truth, and being authentically me. I have had to hone the skill of knowing when there is no place for my authentic self in a situation; these are the times I have to walk away, without the need to justify me "

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    1. Shukran for sharing your thoughts Shireen! I'm glad it is relatable, and that I'm not the only one feeling this :-D

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