Monday 25 September 2017

Return to life 'post pilgrimage'

Assalaamu Alaykum & Hello beautiful readers!

These past few weeks seem a bit surreal, my perspective on so many things have been altered so significantly that it's hard to believe that it actually happened. It feels like waking from a dream, where everything is starkly real and when you wake up, you feel a bit disoriented. You wonder what has just happened, and where you are, while trying to remember the details of the dream...

Well, this is one dream where even the littlest detail has stuck, where every single moment has been an experience, a learning curve or a lesson for the self. I have returned from this dream the same individual, and yet not really the same person. And this week as I started integrating back into work, I realise more than ever, that I have changed; and on the flip side, the realisation that everything back home has remained the same, has been something I've been struggling with. The struggle for me is firstly, in assimilating this changed me into the same environment; and secondly, in letting go of the lifestyle that had become a norm during the 7 weeks in Saudi Arabia. Life consisted of nothing else except prayer, devotion, self introspection, eating and sleeping- in that order of importance. Which meant very little sleep, scattered mealtimes and the challenge to keep the strength up for the important days of pilgrimage; all of which was quite a task in the extreme heat.

While I am still coming to terms with being back home, and still find myself reliving my pilgrimage days, I am putting together bits which I would like to share with my readers. In an attempt to share with those who don't know what this beautiful journey entails, and for those whose hearts are burning to go. The one thing I asked myself when I set foot on Saudi soil was: "Why did it take me so long to come?", and throughout my trip I was reminded every day that there could be no other time for me to take this journey, no other time which would be right for me. So for those who have the burning desire to be in the Holy lands for Hajj, take comfort in the fact that your time is your time. It is not up to us to decide when that will be, and any time before the trip is merely preparation for when you do make the esteemed journey of Hajj.

So with all the lessons learnt, and discoveries about myself, I have returned to my family whom I missed like crazy. Yet even while missing them, I ensured that I made the most of every single day, every single moment and absorbed every detail like a sponge. I committed the sight of the Ka'baa to memory, the sounds as we stood in the Holy Mosque for prayers and the sounds of the birds circling the Ka'baa just before dawn. All of these have been banked for those days when I yearn to be back, which at this point is several times a day! The single thought I have everyday is to be granted the strength to continue my Hajj journey at home, to remember to check myself regularly against this and to continue on the road of self growth and improvement. This amazing journey has awakened a deeper sense of compassion a tolerance coupled with the clear understanding of the oneness of humanity. I'll elaborate more on these as I unravel my posts.

Today I bring you a look post which features an olive green wrap shirt dress over a skinny jeans, it's been really hard deciding what to wear since I returned. After weeks of simple abayas, robes and a simple pull on burqah or scarf, it is a huge adjustment having to consider clothing options. I literally had a few abayas which I washed and wore on a rotational basis, with the same sliders or Havianas every single day. Simple! This look post is the first attempt at an outfit for going out in public, suitable for work where I still feel comfy and look presentable. During these past few weeks I didn't even wear makeup, until we landed at OR Tambo and I dressed for the 'afklim' aka The Grand Arrival. Traditionally a time when 'fresh' pilgrims wear a special outfit for the welcome home celebrations.

As my acclimation will take time and retraining my brain for work, so will my sense of being home. A feeling I am sure anyone who has visited the Holy lands can attest to... So please bear with me as I find my way ❤️



Phasionista SA shirtdress
Guess Jeans
Mimco boots 
Louis Vuitton handbag
Witchery scarf
Giorgio Armani sunglasses

Ciao for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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