Saturday 15 September 2018

Kindness is a Lost Art

Hey lovely readers! 

This past week has been a tough one, and since I'm not one to walk around with my whole life showing on my face, I tend to go through life with a smile and bounce regardless of what happens behind the scenes. I don't lament my fate or things that happen for too long, my motto is "where to from here?". And this is why I am so grateful for my family- my hubby, boys, my sister and bestie- they get me, they know what goes on behind the smile and know how to perk up my day. One would not guess at any distress behind the game face; I blame this on my tumultuous childhood, hence loads of practice at keeping things to myself.

So when I found myself sitting in the waiting room at the hospital to visit a family member this week, having just had a hectic day, feeling a bit low; and two strangers shared a smile and some kind words with me, it just brightened my day. It brought the sunshine into my day ♥️These were two sisters who recognised me from Instagram (this is how we started chatting), and we ended up having a really uplifting conversation. What struck me most about this interaction is that they showed up at just the right time to brighten my really gloomy day; and despite going through a rough time themselves (with a family member having had emergency open heart surgery), they were still really kind. It was not difficult for them show kindness to a stranger, in fact it seemed to be the way they engage with the world generally. As I made my way home, this conversation played in my mind and I realised a couple of things:
Kindness is a lost art, we go through life forgetting what it means to smile or share a kind word- and yet everyone we meet will be going through something we have no knowledge of. Everyone has their own story, everyone has bad days, and it is not necessary to know what their difficulty may be to offer some sunlight. 
It has become the norm to encounter kindness with strangers instead of within your immediate circle, in fact, your immediate circle will feel it ok to dump their bad days/feelings and frustration onto you. This is not ok, speaking about or discussing my issues calmly, is nothing compared to dumping onto somebody by venting anger and frustration on them. 
I live with the premise that everyone is human first, and therefore deserves respect as a human being first; before all the other roles, religion, status or whatever separation we perceive is presented. If I just look at every person the same, and treat them equally with respect and kindness, what harm is there in that? What do I lose? What does it take away from me? 
Absolutely Nothing!
By doing this with others, I know that I deserve respect too, and that respecting myself first is a critical piece in being able to respect others. It's also fundamental in being able to stand up for myself and to not allow myself to be disrespected.
More importantly, my behaviour and the way I engage in the world becomes a template for my kids. They see and learn by my actions and behaviour, so I have a responsibility to teach and raise young men with empathy, respect, consideration, tolerance and kindness. 

My chat with these two women, followed by a conversation with a friend about struggles she's having with her kids furthermore highlighted how unbeknown to us, others are going through some pretty hectic difficulties. They sometimes pale in comparison to ours. Some people are just trying to get through each day alive, and yet are still able to offer someone a smile. 
We don't always know what our purpose is on this earth, and we don't always need to know how we impact people, but what I do know is that we were not placed on this earth to abuse, belittle, gossip, attack and kill the spirit of our fellow humans. 

"Every Act of Kindness is a Charity"
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

Today't outfit features pieces which have been in my wardrobe for a while, I have been digging out oldies to recycle this past month to rejuvenate for Spring. And then the rain cam along and demanded some layers!

Outfit Details:
Mango Skirt
Trenery Polka Dot Knit
Trenery boots
Pauls Boutique bag
Forever New Shawl
Jo Borkett Scarf

Ciao for now,
RuBe xoxo

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