Friday 6 April 2018

I fell off the balanced wagon

Hey lovely readers,

This past two weeks have really been food for the soul, this school holidays and time away from the rat race was much needed indeed. Since returning from Hajj a few months ago, I have dived into work and everything else head first, and haven't take a time out to breathe, except for one week during December holidays.  

Recently, I have become aware of how quickly things go off track when I'm not paying attention. I have been very focused on my introspective work, which is also time out in a way, I have been intensely absorbed on work, the blog and delivering motivational talks. In the background, my kids have also been so busy and I have just gone along with their crazy schedule feeling as if the hamster wheel was on fast forward.  This has kept me busy 24/7, 7 days a week and it felt like weekends just ran into each other. But lately, the introspection has prompted me to reconsider my prioritities, whilst meditation helped with momentary stillness.  I know that I constantly work under pressure and function on fast forward mode every single day. 
Then I took a step back, going away this Easter weekend presented the perfect opportunity to reflect, as I spent some well deserved time with my oldest and dearest friend and her family. We spent the 5 days doing very little apart from chat, drink tea, play games with the kids and just catch our breath. The kids (both young adults and teens) spent the time together and had the most terrific time without TV and video games. It was a complete reprieve from the crazy!

I've come back home rejuvenated and rested and fully aware of how I push myself to the limit each day. I realise how far I strayed from the path of balanced living. It should have been a warning sign when I climbed into bed each night completely exhausted. I suppose with the kids being more independent I thought I'd be able to do more; instead I did more but didn't really have the reserves to do more. My resources did not stretch to the extra loads I keep adding. And yet, at the same time I am very aware of how people and situations drain my energy, without the actual awareness of how I tap into every ounce of my own energy to get through each day. I have managed to create boundaries to keep those situations at bay, and I now further realise that losing focus on me, really means just not adhering to my needs first. These last few weeks have been concentrated on this and ensuring that I do not unneccesarily accelerate my pace. I wrote this post 2 years ago about how I cope with a hectic schedule, and even though all of these are still in place, I seem to have found extra things to add on! 
So after a wonderful time of complete relaxation and quality time with great friends and family, I am going to try and be mindful of those times I start feeling like the hamster wheel is speeding up. It will be a reminder to me to check myself, reorientate and move forward. 🙏🏼
Today's outfit is probably the last summer one, as the days start becoming chilly. It features a pretty gingham pants, block boxy leather top and bright espadrilles and scarf. 

Outfit details:

Laser cut top old
Gingham pants from Superbalist
Nine West (Saudi) suede espadrilles
Old Scarf
Louis Vuitton bag
Rebelfunk earrings

Ciao for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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