Friday, 19 May 2017

Celebrating nurturers

Welcome readers, 

We are fast approaching mid year, and Winter, with it's promise of rain and warm cosy moments indoors. It sounds really idyllic, but I know the reality as a mom, that the moment you plan for a hour of relax time, something unexpected pops up. 

I am trying to battle the flu, trying very hard to keep it from taking a hold of my body and getting me under. So with all the herbal meds I am taking, I need some down time to ensure my body is able to fight this bug. The problem is.... downtime to recuperate from illness is nearly an impossibility when kids and family need to be attended to. Or fetched from school, or taken to music lessons, and so on...

We have just celebrated Mother's Day, and the kids would have bought little tokens of appreciation and love; have prepared interesting meals and presented moms with handmade keepsakes. There is too much pressure when there is just one day dedicated to making mom feel special, and one would say it should really be more organic than staged. That kids should show appreciation every day, and spoil mom every day... 
Pfft 😬😬
If only!
The reality moms (and I refer to all care givers and nurturers) face is that mommying is done seamlessly, and the home runs without hiccup. When everyone gets home and sits down to have a lovely, wholesome home cooked meal, very little thought has gone into the juggling of time that had to happen to ensure that the food was ready on time. Trying to cook around work meetings, school runs and errands becomes a carefully planned item on the to-do list. Cooking is just one aspect of a moms day, and there are so many other instances, such as a sick kid - the time taken to nurse a sick member of the family is something which naturally occurs, without a second thought. Running to the stationery store to get assignment paraphernalia is a norm, buying essentials and all the other little things which keep the home running effortlessly takes time from mommy (mine right now) recuperation time. 

This post is therefore dedicated to all moms, dads, caregivers and guardians who are raising their families in the best way they know how. Each one, going through the daily grind, occasionally dropping the ball and sometimes just not knowing what to do. You are superheroes!
  As I am writing this, I am planning on time to recuperate, but silently in my head it's moving further and further down the list, as I remember all the other things that have to be done first... 

And yet, I would not have it any other way... And I'd still make the time to engage with the family and kids, still watch a sitcom with my youngest, talk fashion with the eldest or just chat to my middle son... Recuperation can wait...

Today's post is one worn for an event earlier this week, just before the flu got me looking all tired and feeling blegh. So, there was at least one moment this week when this mommy dressed up and felt good. One of my favourite dresses from Human Image, my now favourite LV bag and classic Nine West courts finish the look. 



















Outfit:
Human Image dress
Scarf Stop scarf
Make a statement earrings
Louis Vuitton bag
Nine West heels

Ciao for now, 
RuBe xoxo




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Friday, 12 May 2017

Feminism is not male bashing

Hello readers,

When you're a mum, Friday does not mean relax, in fact it actually means buckle up for the whirlwind that's about to hit! It means: prepare for early morning sports, tuition runs, popping into the stores for new clothes, sports equipment, cooking, entertaining and so much more. And yet, I thrive on this busyness over weekends as it is a time when I feel most engaged with my family. I experience what they love to do, take time to have long chats, watch their favourite movies and celebrate their passions (sport, in our case). 

So with all the male bashing I've seen this week, especially with the horrific stories of a young child being raped by her dad & brother and a young woman killed by her boyfriend; it has disturbed me on many fronts. I am a feminist, I believe in women being empowered, in being able to live their best lives; however I do not believe that ALL men are trash, that ALL men are threatened by strong women or that ALL men want women to be subservient. I am raising three young men and refuse to buy into the version of feminism that feels it needs to denounce all males. I am fortunate to have by my side a supportive male, a husband who supports my endeavours, who is not threatened by a successful or strong woman and who is able to love me just as I am. He is able to be a partner in my life, an active participant as much as I am in his. And I am surrounded by many such males, who set the examples for the younger males around them. I choose to believe that those young males will follow suit and model that same behaviour. I choose to believe that by having a mom who practices my version of a feminist, will go a long way to ensuring my boys are secure enough in themselves to be partners one day too. 

I am a feminist, and was driven in pursuing a career, and yet, when I chose to step out of that hamster wheel, I was happy to tend to my family. This did not mean I had to give up being an entrepreneur, or studying or pursuing new goals. I enjoy being an independent working woman, but I also love cooking for my family, being with my kids, raising them and spending time with hubby. I am not pressured into doing any of these things, and THAT is where feminism comes in. I am free to choose my path, free to decide how to plan my day, how I want to dress and where I want to go. If I choose to make time to look after my family, or dress modestly or fetch kids from school, it is certainly not because I am browbeaten. 

These stories making headlines this week are indeed atrocious, but heinous acts are not only perpetrated by males, and it is a gross generalisation to condemn the male species as a result. It is more an indication of those individuals' socio-economic circumstances, learned behaviours and conditioning from being exposed to these types of behaviours, which deems it 'acceptable' for them to conduct themselves in this way. As a feminist, I enjoy having my door opened for me, or the chair being drawn out for me (which is something hubby and all my boys practice), it makes me feel respected, honoured and appreciated. It certainly doesn't cost me anything to be gracious about accepting it; and hubby does it because he wants to, not because he has to. This is does not mean that all males should do this, it simply means that if my guy wants to show appreciation and respect towards me as a woman, I will graciously accept it. There are enough stories of woman abuse around to be thankful when presented with the alternative. 

Furthermore, I live in a home with four males, and strongly reject male bashing at every level. 

Today's look is to symbolise grace, and to show that I am proudly woman, proudly supportive of the males around me. Without whom I would not be where I am today. This look is a casual, Autumn inspired ensemble featuring a t-shirt dress, leather jacket adorned with pearls and beads.

















Outfit:
Mango dress
Urban leather jacket from Asos
Mimco leather ankle boots
French Connection backpack
Pearls and beads (old)
Louis Vuitton scarf
Mimco rings
Lovisa earrings

Ciao for now, 
RuBe xoxo


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Friday, 5 May 2017

I went down the rabbit hole


 TGIF readers! 
After last weekend, which seemed to last forever I am sure it took a lot to get back into the swing of the week. 

Apart from wardrobe styling, my actual job is as a Business Strategist/ Consultant/ Coach/ Mentor, a path I have chosen to follow to empower individuals in their respective businesses. Whilst I was scheduled to see clients this week, it turned out to be a challenging one, so some meetings were postponed. And it so happened that these cancellations actually gave me some time to work on another project which I have a crushing deadline for. 
This made me realise that sometimes the universe knows what is best, that things will happen as they are meant to. The trick is to accept this when it happens, not to fight it, as it generally brings us to the opportunities meant to be on our path. For a long time I chose to disregard this serendipitous occurrences, however big or small they may have been. But as I opened myself up to the premise that anything can happen... Anything literally happens!

I have had to learn to take each day as it comes, knowing firsthand what working from day to day, month to month, all with the promise of a vacation as a break from it, can do to the soul. This was the pace of corporate, constantly chasing the money for the good of the 'business', working towards targets and deadlines, oblivious of the harm I was inflicting upon myself. At this point, it felt like life was a hamster wheel, and each day ran into each other, same same, different people. Little by little my soul was stripped, and after enough time my body decided to give me a push. And it was not a little push, it was a downright scary rabbit hole I didn't have the energy to navigate. I took some extended time off to recuperate, and in that time I started seeing that my passion is what my life should be about. I realised that even though I had a plan, it may not have been the plan that was destined for me. 
And down the rabbit hole I ventured...
Where I found the time to recuperate, heal and learn to listen to life, instead of dictating to life. And at the bottom of the rabbit hole I found health, my connection with the Divine, rediscovered the written word, explored my creative side and started working on improving myself. After going through many processes of growth (and will probably continue for as long as I am breathing...) I found a space where I am able to add value and empower others. I discovered the other side of 'chasing the money', the side where making a difference is the bottom line, equipping others to find their rabbit hole (hopefully without the health issues) and ultimately open themselves up to "anything can happen". 

After all, having gone down there myself, I can be the google maps, assisting in navigating the way! 
😊

Today's look is a mix up of glam and casual, a perfect representation of my life after going down the rabbit hole. Being open to anything, this outfit is an expression of that, some sequins, textures and sneakers, literally a bit of everything!












 












Outfit details:

River Island Dubai skirt (old)
Spree top (old)
Lacoste rose gold sneakers (Asos)
Michael Kors bag
LV scarf
Ralph Lauren sunglasses (Bali)
Make a Statement beaded earrings
Swarovski bracelet
Chanel lips

Ciao for now, 
RuBe xoxo

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