A few tweaks is all that is needed

Hi lovely readers!

I've been immersed in Ramadaan and when I reared my head, I realised that we had entered the last 10 days/nights 🤲🏼. As usual this month has been filled with so many blessings, I can tangibly feel the mercy of my Rabb and the sacredness of my time.

Last year we were catapulted into a very restricted way of observing Ramadaan, and yet the solitude and isolation turned out to be an amazing gift of a beautiful time. It allowed us the space to introspect, perform taraweeh in our homes, create new family bonding moments and to practice gratitude for our homes, food and health. This year, as we have emerged a from most of the restrictions, for many, Ramadaan has reverted back to the norm. I have not fully emerged from the solitude, I am finding comfort in isolation as it has allowed me the ability to contemplate more deeply, to strip away illusions more effectively without unnecessary noise. My prayer and reflection time is intensely heartfelt as I engage in supplication, reflection and examine my own engagement in the world; and how I serve and fulfil my purpose. 

This past year has forced us to focus even more on the transient nature of life, as many of us are missing loved ones as we stare at empty seats at our dinner tables. It has taught us the power of prayer and faith, as everything we believed we could control, suddenly shifted beyond our reach and power. The reality of the Divine Plan has never been more strongly felt, and the potential of surrender never more promising than right now. I am certain that every single person has been affected in a myriad of ways by this pandemic; from losing loved ones, being infected and struggling to recover, loss of income, heightened abuse and mental health challenges, to mention a few. I am therefore so thankful for the energy and spirituality of this month; through contemplation and introspection, I can see how everything that has transpired has happened FOR me, not TO me; I am able to embrace the strength that I have dug deep down to find bu the Grace of my Creator. HE has brought me through so many traumas before this, and HE will bring me through this too Subgaanallah.

One of the most liberating effects of lockdown is that my duty to serve, and fortify myself in my purpose, has become my sole focus. Working at being the best version of me, without outside noise this past year, has been nothing short of life-changing. I start every day with gratitude for being alive, for my health, for my strength, my mind, my heart - all of which I will continue to honour-  as these gifts equip me for whatever has been decreed along my path Algamdulilah.

These last 10 days is to be spent, as far as possible, in supplication for refuge and bringing us closer to the Divine. I pray that you are able to find the spaces to engage in deep dialogue with our Creator. May this last few days bring you peace, fill your soul and surround you with blessings InshaAllah.

In the spirit of the end of Ramadaan, I have decided to include my usual repurposing Eid styling inspo for those who are keen to upcycle outifts. I have been doing this for the past few years, and by merely changing up a few elements, it transforms the entire outfit to one that has never been worn before! For this lookpost, I chose a simple Milk Flared white Abayah with pockets from iera designs and glammed it up with accessories, most importantly- a feather jacket☺This look shows how you can take any piece and make it Eid ready! The jacket, scarf, shoes and bag are all existing pieces in my closet, which, when paired together results in a pretty Eid-worthy outfit.

Let me know what your thoughts are on re-purposing, I have already received resounding agreement to upcycling for Eid.

Milk Abayah from iera designs

Feather Jacket - London purchase

Suede heels- old

Forever New bag

Rose Gold Scarf from Rif Wrapped

Sunglasses - old

Ciao for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Are we blind to abuse?

Asalaamu Alaykum & Welcome Readers,

It's been a while since I popped in here and shared my thoughts, and with the start of Ramadaan I felt I really wanted and needed to share my musings. Firstly, things have been really crazy with the launch of our travel agency, The Travel Connexion as you may have seen on social media, and of course life continues in between. This meant that we have literally been working 24/7 to get things off the ground, and at the same time I am trying to balance that, my own work, home and family life. So unfortunately the blog took a back seat, but with the start of the fast, which is my time for reflection and introspection, I wanted to drop you a few lines.

My topic may seem a bit heavy for the start of Ramadaan, but this has been something that has been sitting with me for a while. And this post has actually been in draft since January. Abuse comes in many forms, and I have seen it and experienced it in every sphere of my life. What is disturbing is how blind we are to it, and how normalised it has become in our interactions with each other. Rather than talk about the more common versions which we all know without a doubt is abuse, such as domestic abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse and so on, I would like to highlight the more subtle versions which are carried out every day without anyone batting an eyelid. 

My belief, and I have said this many times, is that every single person needs to be treated with respect as a human being first. Therefore any violation of an individual's basic human rights is a form of abuse, this refers to malice, disregard for a person's humanity and feelings and emotional warfare. I refer to emotional warfare, which is actually launching a full on personal attack without having the decency of having a discussion first. I have been at the end of vindictiveness without even knowing the rhyme or reason, and while I am very clear that this says more about the other person than it does about me, I find it totally unnecessary. 

The not so subtle digs in the virtual realm is another form of abuse, where the person dishing it out cannot say or do it in person, and hides behind a screen. Furthermore, slander or gossip (or fitnah which is a serious sin in Islam) is another form of abuse, and strips the dignity of the one perpetrating it, Subgaanallah. Cyberbullying and feeling entitled to the right to tell someone off in a public space causes more harm than good, and has resulted in really dire situations for our youth. Spreading fake news and rallying sensationalism and anger are further ways of violating someone else's dignity, it is even worse if the information has not been verified nor addressed with the individual in question. 

Basically, abuse is perpetrated when one uses power and influence in an underhand way, when one intentionally sets out to harm another in a malicious and venomous manner. I cannot condone this behaviour, and truth is the only panacea for this kind of violation. I am raising young men, future generations of leaders, and to show them that it is OK to stand by an accept abuse would be to fail in my Divine duty to my Creator. It is also not OK to allow abuse to be perpetrated when it is within your power to say or do something, this too is a Divine order. 

As the month of Ramadaan approached, I found myself in the space of wrestling with this concept. And my guidance came when I supplicated and performed Tahajjud salaah (prayer performed in the last third of night and before dawn) : "Speaking the truth may not be the easy thing to do, but it is the only thing to do to end abuse." And furthermore, I needed to accept that whichever way my Lord has decreed it should happen, I will accept with Grace. I have also had to sit with what my role in any form of abuse is and has been, and to rectify this as best I can. It is not enough to point fingers and say that others are meant to rectify something when I am not prepared to step in and do the same. Accountability starts with me and it is the only way to open the heart to forgiveness. Afterall, I cannot ask my Creator for Mercy or for Forgiveness if I am not prepared to sincerely make room for this in my own heart. 

So as I enter this month, with a clear heart and conscience I will continue to reflect and introspect, and ensure that I engage in the world from a place of truth and authenticity. Knowing full well that whatever I expect on this earth is something I am willing to do myself. 

My motto: "Check myself first."

One of my favourite Hadiths:

On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, “Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.” [Muslim]

This look was clearly from two weeks ago, and I'm sharing it as it's a piece from the Huemine Image label, owned by my dear soul sister Aysha. This yellow python print piece jumped out at me when I popped into her studio. We've had this conversation around abuse many times, so I felt a little piece of her in this post is appropriate.💛

Outfit Details:

Lasercut Leather top (Old)

Huemine Image skirt

Shoes & Bag (Old)

Ralph Lauren sunglasses

Earring (Old)

Raw Silk Scarf (Old)

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Ramadaan Rejuvenation

Happy Friday and Jumuah Mubarak readers!

Today is the first Jumuah of the Ramadaan, a month I look forward to, for it brings so many blessings and insights for me. This is usually a month of introspection for me, and this year I feel that I have accessed another layer within myself. This is mainly due to my Hajj, and the realisations and lessons learnt during that remarkable journey. I don't think anyone ever takes 6 weeks away from the rat race to reflect, to connect and to rejuvenate the soul.

Our lives are centred around rushing from one point to the next, in search of the next buck (which is important to feed our families) and in search of love (which I believe is important to nourish the soul). These two things are essential to our 'being' on earth, but allowing it to become all-consuming doesn't necessarily allow us the luxury of introspection. The tag line being: 'There is no time ' - for anything. I understand that not everyone has been afforded an opportunity to take 4-6 weeks away from life for a journey of a lifetime, however Ramadaan presents the time for this. This month is filled with opportunities for contemplation and supplication; it fuels the soul for spiritual rekindling. And yet, although there is 'no time', we're able to binge on series, online shop for ages, scour social media and get lost in a virtual world. I too watch series (but I can just manage 1/2 episodes at a time - if I'm lucky), online shop and sift through social media. But this month becomes my haven away from the virtual & physical world, indeed it becomes the time when my most meaningful connections happen. 

My Hajj has taught me that the space of spiritual contentment lies within me, ready to be accessed at any time. It's the space where my dialogue with my Creator emanates from and my introspection into my own souls contract occurs. Each year Ramadaan is a point from which I start afresh, I feel as if I am cleansed, both physically and emotionally. A time when I take stock of work and business ventures and assess my way forward for the next 12 months. One of the most important realisations for me has been to trust in Divine Decree; to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can take care of the day to day things, and the bigger picture is taken care of by the Almighty. I can plan each day, strategise the bigger picture but it is always with full trust in my Creator. And whether I have a bad/traumatic experience, that it too has it's purpose in teaching me something about myself. 

It's called "FAITH".

Without Faith I would be lost, floundering in a vast ocean with no sense of direction, nor a base to tether myself to. My family is key to my grounding during this month, we spend more time together, more mealtimes as a family, we try the prayer times together as far as possible and even preparing Iftar (to break fast) is done as a unit. For the 5 of us, it becomes a time where we connect more, as we're all home most of the time, there are no parties, no commitments apart from focusing on this time (and of course, sports as well!). It has become routine for our home to go quieter, it even feels as if a slowing down of the pace occurs. This is the most conducive environment for a wonderful and blessed Ramadaan.

I'd like to wish all my readers observing this month a Ramadaan Mubarak, may this be a healing and blissful month Insha A Allah♥️

I am still debating on whether I'll do any lookposts this month, it depends on my spiritual programme, but here's a Winter inspired look shot during a filming session. The fur coat is a vintage buy which I have had for a while, the boots, and jeans all old, and the bag purchased a good few years ago abroad.

My message this Winter is to repurpose what we have, and buy very specific key pieces to update your look. My pearl top is the only new item in this ensemble which was a very good buy from Phasionista.

Repurpose away lovelies!

Outfit details:

Faux Fur from Human Image (Thrift buy)

Woolworths ripped jeans

Phasionista pearl top

Mimco boots

Chanel bag

The Glam Closet sunglasses

Lovisa earrings

Scarf from a market

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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A tumultuous time

Hello again readers!

We are into the second 10 days of this month and shoo it has been a tumultuous one! There have been so many occurrences this week which have tested me on a few fronts. The #CapeStorm has caused devastation for so many, and families are still reeling from their losses. I have already attended 3 funerals during this month, two of them this week alone, and the first one on the very first day of the fast. That first funeral seriously set the tone for the rest of the month🙏🏼

Even though this was a rough week, it has also been an amazing one in terms of what I had come to accept and things I needed to embrace. The funerals this month were especially hard as they each represented elements of my childhood which needed closure. Things which had been worked through, understood and processed and just needed a final closing off (so to speak). I have had to sit with mixed emotions after the second funeral, having to deal with a loss which I didn't think would affect me - which hit hard.

It became evident that there are times when a death will impact me for a reason other than the loss of that person, it signifies a void or an ending. It brings with it realisations of how a single person can impact others without even knowing. Life has a strange way of intertwining lives, and sometimes a few words or a presence (and even an absence) can mean so much to another. We are all on our own journeys and do not necessarily know the struggles of others, and by just saying hi, stopping to offer a lift, or smiling at someone, we may bring a little bit of sunshine. 

This month has been an intense one, where all my self-evaluation and supplication have highlighted that there will always be places of myself that will require work. I will constantly be in a state of growing and learning, evaluating, all towards being a better me. For me. And to be able to lead and guide, as well as to serve. As always, this Ramadaan has been a hugely productive one business wise, and plans which have been laid down earlier this year are coming to fruition now. Algamdulilah.

I am grateful for the trials set upon on my path as it teaches me to grow, forcing me to tap into those places inside me which houses the strength. 

"Hard times don't create heros.

It is during the hard times when the hero within us is revealed." 

- Bob Riley

Today's outfit is an ode to the bit of childhood I had to let go of this week. It signifies the playfulness we have inside and sense of wonder which I hope to never lose.

Outfit details:

Superbalist suede jacket (last year)

H&M t-shirt dress

Gold belt (old)

Country Road leggings

Mango boots (Spree.co.za)

Scarf purchased abroad

French Connection bag (UK)

Embellished sunglasses from The Glam Closet

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Ramadaan with teens

Welcome readers, 

It's Friday already (gasp!) and I honestly cannot fathom that the week has flown by so fast. I certainly don't feel the usual worn out exhaustion after a hectic week, and yet, it's been a wonderfully productive work week whilst fasting and observing all my supplications. I really do feel the tranquility of this month has once again enveloped my home, and all of the occupants.

The reality remains that with a houseful of growing teenage boys, they get hangry as the day and the month progresses. But even with this, the calm has resulted in them being less argumentative, less annoyed with each other, even with the exam stress hanging in the air. I try to ensure that their suhoor (breakfast) is nutritious and filled with brain food and enough protein to keep them going. It's a task which is hard to accomplish when these young sportsmen still take the time to train at home, or just kicking a ball around when they're bored, burning through their energy reserves. One of the things they've had to forego is their sports schedule, partly because logistically it's difficult to co-ordinate and partly because I want them to focus on study and increased recitation. We have over the years created our own unique traditions, favourite fasting meals and family time, and I find it such a special time to bond during this month. 

The first week has whizzed by, but not without serious self evaluation and introspection. I've sat and pondered on how I engage, how I serve and how I set an example to lead by. My legacy is the only thing which is worth being conscious of, and here I'm not referring to a legacy of wealth. The legacy I refer to is the example I set as a parent, to the values I embody, live by and instill in my offspring. My kids are the next generation who will need to do the same, they too will need to be self aware and understand that there will always be work towards being the best version of yourself. I would love to ensure that they know that their amazing individual talents have been gifted to them, for them, and to serve. I would love to ensure that they know that living authentically is so much more rewarding that chasing the almighty buck.

Raising teenagers, in today's materially centered society, will always be a challenge. It will always be a challenge to remind them that pursuing wealth is not the end goal; but I live with the hope that through example and actions they will intrinsically just get it. I live with the hope that by example I have shown what really matters; and whilst it is great to have the material things, it is not the end goal, it is not the focus of life. 

Today's look is a relaxed one, with a loose fitting pants, swing frill top and gold platform sneakers. Perfectly modest and comfortable for running those endless errands.

Outfit details:

Something Pretty embellished top

Trenery cotton pants (old)

Gifted scarf

Superga flatform sneakers

Louis Vuitton bag

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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