A Heart Wrenching Farewell

Hi lovelies, 

We currently find ourselves in the midst of Hajj season and we have just emerged from a week where four very close family members, which include a brother, departed to perform their pilgrimage this year. Whilst it is a huge blessing to have this wonderful excitement, it is also overwhelming trying to spread oneself across all the homes. In addition, I also have a long list of friends and acquaintances who depart/have departed for pilgrimage. But of course, it is still with a sense of nostalgia that I navigate this special time.

It is so appropriate for me to end my #HajjSeries on the anniversary of the day I departed for Hajj last year, 25 July 2018. My journey, as you will have read, was an absolute life changing experience; one where I still uncover a little more everyday. Each day is a day where I am tasked with living my Hajj to the best of my ability. 

The last instalment covers how we spent the last few days in Makkah post-Hajj. We had a full week after Hajj before we would depart for home, and the first thing I needed to do to be fully free to do anything, was to complete my Tawaful Ifaldah and exit the state of ihraam. Once I had done this, hubby and I decided to check ourselves back into our hotel a few meters away from the Haram, as I could not see myself spending my last few days in Makkah (in Azizziyah) so far from the Ka'bah. I wanted to get as much time in the Haram, without needing to be concerned with the logistics of travelling to and fro. I was also very aware that each and every minute was precious, and that as much as I planned to return, this is not always within my control. So the time that we were here, I'd make every second count! Many people say that post-Hajj one misses the kids, and home; this is true, but for me the magnetic pull of the Ka'bah superceded this. The constant buzz I was on just by being in central Makkah was exhilarating and a feeling I will never forget.

Apart from spending all my free time in the Haram, we decided to be typical tourists and explore Makkah and its surrounds on our own. One day we used the local mini-bus taxi and left to spend the day touring Jeddah. I wanted to perform a waqt at Masjid Al Rahma (also known as the floating mosque on the Red Sea), let the warm waves of the Red Sea wash over my feet and visit the spot where Gouwa (AS) was buried (this has now been flattened by the Saudi Government). We also visited the Mall of Arabia, where I did some shopping and even stumbled upon an Ocean Basket! Algamdulilah - My wish for sushi was granted in the last week of our journey!

Once back in Makkah and sightseeing done, we spent all our free time in the Haram, by the Ka'bah. As the days passed, the heavy feeling of farewell started setting in, and with it the sadness that this altered reality we were living in would soon end. I was looking forward to being reunited with my boys after 7 weeks away, and at the same time I was torn with my intense need to stay right there. Even though it was post-Hajj Makkah was still unbelievably full, and we were so fortunate to have had some moments of complete peace and momentary respite from the crowds. Our last Thuhr, we spent sitting on the mataaf, sun hidden behind the clouds and a practically non-existent tawaaf crowd. As I sat there, and the realisation dawned on me that this was my last Thuhr, the tears started flowing, as I knew this significant time was nearing its end. It was difficult to comprehend what life would be like without the constant draw of this captivating city.

We performed our Tawaaful Widaa just after Fajr on the Sunday morning before we flew out. The crowd was enormous and with each circumambulation we walked slower and slower, wanting this last tawaaf to last, needing to commit every single footstep to memory. The sight of the sunrise in the east as we performed tawaaf was a reminder that the day for our departure had dawned, the birds circling the mosque a reminder that life continues outside of this sacred city. Life back home which we would soon be re-joining. When we were done, I was practically sobbing as hubby made a final duah before we turned around and walked out King Fahd gate for the very last time on this journey. It is hard to articulate the heartbreak at that moment, the heart wrenching feeling of leaving your soul behind in this revered city. I remember filming every single moment of my walk out of the Holy Mosque, and returning to the hotel. Our sorrow was evident in the silent tears coursing down our cheeks, not talking and just walking side by side, and finally packing our things to return to Azizziah where the bus would collect us for the airport.

I believe this farewell to have been one of the most difficult moments of my journey, and even as I reminisce on it, I relive the desolation. The only light is my focus to return for umrah very soon InshaAllah ♥️
As we embarked on the bus to leave, I reflected that it has been an experience like no other, where I managed my trials with hardiness and grace. And I breathed a sigh of relief as we entered the highway en route to Jeddah airport. Little did I know that the journey is not done until you set foot back in your home. Our bus driver got horribly lost for about 2 hours, and a trip which was supposed to take us roughly hour and a half, took over 3 hours. In a dilapidated bus, the likes of which I had not even glanced during my entire trip, with dodgy aircon. About two hours into the journey, I needed to use the bathroom, and was unable to whilst we were driving in circles. After about 4 hours with a full bladder, I broke out into a cold sweat as my one semi-functioning kidney and bladder started aching. I am so grateful when we approach the airport and no additional buses were allowed into the airport, instead we would have to wait on the outskirts until some flights had taken off. At this point I felt faint, and could not find a ladies bathroom to use, so I grabbed hubby and used the men's loo which was the absolute worst experience of my entire trip! The moral of this story for me is that the journey is not over until you're back in your own home!
So the saying about taking bags of sabr (patience) along is not an underrated saying at all!

On this year milestone, I realise how much my perspective on life has changed. May all our 1439  Hujaaj be granted a Hajj Maqbool, and Hajj Mabroer InshaAllah, and may all their trials be accepted and managed with ease.

Performing Tawaaful Ifaldah

In Azizziyah Main Road 

Azizziyah Main Road  

In the mini-bus taxi

A suburb in Jeddah, Al Balad

Masjid Al Rahma where we performed Asr Salaah

All I wanted to do is sit with my feet in the Red Sea :-) 

Mall Of Arabia, Jeddah

Quran monument as you approach Makkah from Jeddah

Waltzing around in Azizziyah post-Hajj

The last sunrise, after our Tawaaful Widaa 

The empty mataaf after my last Thuhr

Touristy Selfie

This was such a treat for me, sushi, at long last!

The manager of Ocean Basket, Jeddah, treats all Saffas with a discount :-D

Exiting through King Fahd gate for the last time of my journey

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Ramadaan Rejuvenation

Happy Friday and Jumuah Mubarak readers!

Today is the first Jumuah of the Ramadaan, a month I look forward to, for it brings so many blessings and insights for me. This is usually a month of introspection for me, and this year I feel that I have accessed another layer within myself. This is mainly due to my Hajj, and the realisations and lessons learnt during that remarkable journey. I don't think anyone ever takes 6 weeks away from the rat race to reflect, to connect and to rejuvenate the soul.

Our lives are centred around rushing from one point to the next, in search of the next buck (which is important to feed our families) and in search of love (which I believe is important to nourish the soul). These two things are essential to our 'being' on earth, but allowing it to become all-consuming doesn't necessarily allow us the luxury of introspection. The tag line being: 'There is no time ' - for anything. I understand that not everyone has been afforded an opportunity to take 4-6 weeks away from life for a journey of a lifetime, however Ramadaan presents the time for this. This month is filled with opportunities for contemplation and supplication; it fuels the soul for spiritual rekindling. And yet, although there is 'no time', we're able to binge on series, online shop for ages, scour social media and get lost in a virtual world. I too watch series (but I can just manage 1/2 episodes at a time - if I'm lucky), online shop and sift through social media. But this month becomes my haven away from the virtual & physical world, indeed it becomes the time when my most meaningful connections happen. 

My Hajj has taught me that the space of spiritual contentment lies within me, ready to be accessed at any time. It's the space where my dialogue with my Creator emanates from and my introspection into my own souls contract occurs. Each year Ramadaan is a point from which I start afresh, I feel as if I am cleansed, both physically and emotionally. A time when I take stock of work and business ventures and assess my way forward for the next 12 months. One of the most important realisations for me has been to trust in Divine Decree; to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can take care of the day to day things, and the bigger picture is taken care of by the Almighty. I can plan each day, strategise the bigger picture but it is always with full trust in my Creator. And whether I have a bad/traumatic experience, that it too has it's purpose in teaching me something about myself. 

It's called "FAITH".

Without Faith I would be lost, floundering in a vast ocean with no sense of direction, nor a base to tether myself to. My family is key to my grounding during this month, we spend more time together, more mealtimes as a family, we try the prayer times together as far as possible and even preparing Iftar (to break fast) is done as a unit. For the 5 of us, it becomes a time where we connect more, as we're all home most of the time, there are no parties, no commitments apart from focusing on this time (and of course, sports as well!). It has become routine for our home to go quieter, it even feels as if a slowing down of the pace occurs. This is the most conducive environment for a wonderful and blessed Ramadaan.

I'd like to wish all my readers observing this month a Ramadaan Mubarak, may this be a healing and blissful month Insha A Allah♥️

I am still debating on whether I'll do any lookposts this month, it depends on my spiritual programme, but here's a Winter inspired look shot during a filming session. The fur coat is a vintage buy which I have had for a while, the boots, and jeans all old, and the bag purchased a good few years ago abroad.

My message this Winter is to repurpose what we have, and buy very specific key pieces to update your look. My pearl top is the only new item in this ensemble which was a very good buy from Phasionista.

Repurpose away lovelies!

Outfit details:

Faux Fur from Human Image (Thrift buy)

Woolworths ripped jeans

Phasionista pearl top

Mimco boots

Chanel bag

The Glam Closet sunglasses

Lovisa earrings

Scarf from a market

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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#HajjSeries... Health Prep for Hajj

Asalaamu Alaykum & Happy Friday Readers!

With Ramadaan just a few days away, I find myself in a twirl trying to wrap up some work projects, and get things done. I usually go quieter during the fast, so that I can spend my time in rejuvenating on a spiritual level, here's to hoping that it will all be done in time! 

It's also a time when I start planning our eating routine, preparing food to ensure that we sustain ourselves during this auspicious month. Last year, I completely changed our food traditions and prepared healthy food to break fast with and one treat (pancakes, fritters or savoury). Because my kids are still as active during the fast (we've tried to slow them down and it didn't go down well), so I have to ensure that the food they consume is sustainable and a good source of fuel. 

My last #HajjSeries post focused on my first entry into Makkah and the magnificence of the Holy Bait-ullah. The the place my journey had been preparing me for and, even though I did not know it at the time, the healthy eating habits maintained during Ramadaan was crucial to supporting my health and strength whilst on Hajj.

When people come to bid you farewell, they always wish you strength and the presence of mind to complete your Hajj. Only once I arrived in Makkah did I realise how important my health and physical state of being was. With very little sleep, change of climate, extreme heat and people from all walks of life, there is bound to be more than just a few bugs one would be susceptible to. I may not have known at the beginning of the fast last year that I would be embarking on this phenomenal journey, but by regulating our eating habits even during the fast, we were starting the preparation. Both Ghaalid and I were really fortunate to have been fit and healthy before, during and after our trip. Algamdulilah, we were in the best of health for this amazing trip and all the trials that came our way. 

It would have been a blow for me to have been ill, and unable to perform my ibadah and so I was completely obsessed with trying to stay healthy. I was constantly aware that I needed to be strong and ready for the 5 days of Hajj (this too is only within my control to a certain degree- I understood this). I would therefore recommend any prospective Hujaaj preparing to depart in about two months or so, to pay close attention to your personal state of health. This does not mean that you should now go and do10km runs if you have never done it before, or hit the gym for an OTT session either. It means making the right lifestyle choices in a way that it would be easy for you and the body to adapt to. During Ramadaan, I was very fussy about my clean protein intake, coupled with a good balance of carbs. I had a hearty bowl of soup each evening and occasionally indulged in boeber. I don't also deprive myslef completely, it really is all about balance!

I am not a qualified doctor, nor a dietician, but below I have shared some health practices for prospective Hujaaj to manage their health for the impending journey, which worked very well for me.

PS: I do not suffer from any lifestyle diseases nor do I take any chronic meds, so I could manage these on my own without the advice of a medical practitioner. 

1. Try to incorporate greens into your daily meals, a healthy hearty soup during the fast is a great way. I also start the day with a green juice. 
2. Start taking your supplements now, which you will just continue with whilst in Saudi.
3. On a normal day I take the following: Vitathion & Nutrilite Daily vegecaps everyday. To prepare for my trip I incorporated some Vitamin C supplements; and when I felt that I needed it, a good probiotic. It's difficult to take along live cultures so a probiotic tablet/capsule will need to do.
4. I steer clear of traditional meds, so when the sniffles started making an appearance, as is the case when the weather in Cape Town suddenly turns cold, I took Septogard, Echinaforce (sometimes Echinoforce Forte, depending on the severity of the cold/flu) and if needed, Sinugrain. Both Seoptgard and Sinugrain are Tibb alternatives to allopathic medications.
5. If you're not a gym frequenter or do very little physical activity, try to do some daily walking just to get the muscles limber and the shoes walked-in. I do regular yoga mixed with some cardio and light weights, so I am not super fit and I managed the physical exertion of the trip very well.
6. Try to sort out any lingering health issues here prior to taking the trip. I suffer with migraines, and would have needed my prescription meds (thankfully I didn't need it!), but anything which is manageable apart from chronic lifestyle diseases should be attended to here. It may get worse when aggravated by the travel, your state of mind, the heat and so many other factors.
7. When I arrived in Saudi, and the heat hit me, I started drinking Rehidrate (mixed with some Tang) every single day. This worked wonders for my energy levels and ensured that I never suffered from dehydration. 
8. I was sorely disappointed in the availability of vegetables and healthy green dishes in Saudi, apart from the raw vegetables at the supermarkets. So at breakfast I would ensure that I have some form of vegetables and as I mentioned previously fruit was a staple in my diet. 

It is also important to note that leading up to your departure,  you may get very little sleep, this further compromises the body. As difficult as it may be try to rest often during these next two months, as the week before you leave, it will be near impossible! Ramadaan is actually the perfect time to revitalise the body, as it is already a serious detox which we prepare for. The spiritual aspect of the fast adds to my sense of peace and tranquility, and completely helps calm my mind and body. 

Remember to pay close attention to your health throughout your time in Saudi. With the crowds it is very easy to contract bugs, and ensuring that the immune system is strong is the only way to combat the possibility of getting sick. When I felt run down, or felt a scratchy throat, I would take Septogard immediately. On a side note: due to the heat, one tends to drink ice cold Zam Zam water, this irritates the throat! Mix the cold Zam Zam with some warm water and drink it at room temperature. This was a tip from one of the SAHUC officials which helped the moment I felt that my throat was scratchy and sore.

On this note, I wish all my readers a fruitful and tranquil Ramadaan. May all your supplications be accepted and all your prayers be answered InshaAllah.

Good luck to those pilgrims preparing to leave, it's just about two months away so please be mindful and take good care of your health.

This pic taken in Madinah at approximately 1am

And barely any sleep before we're back for Tahajud salaah

You meet so many people of different nationalities, sometimes sitting in
close proximity for long periods of time

After Thuhr tawaaf, with crowds of people, under the blazing hot sun

Visiting Ziyarah places can involve some climbing and requires physcial stamina, especially
in the overwhelming heat

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Makkah... Where my soul resides ♥️

Asalaamu Alyakum readers, 

After many Hajj posts, I am so happy to finally chat about the place where I left my soul... the Holy City of Makkah. From the moment we entered Makkah, I felt at home, like I was answering a call which only my soul could hear.

After our first Umrah, we were on an indescribable high. It was around 2am in the morning when we were done, after the exit from ihraam had been completed, and a refreshing shower to wash away the days travel from Madinah. There was hardly time to sleep before we'd need to be up for Tahajud, and since it was my first night in the Holy city, I was not about to miss anything! So we snoozed for an hour or so, and around 3:30am made our way down to the Haram for Tahajud. Since we were amongst the early arrivals, Makkah was not as crowded yet and we found a great spot (for women, the best we can hope for is an uninterrupted view and as as close as possible to the Ka'bah whilst performing salaah). I was more than happy to just be able to perform my prayers in the most sacred mosque in the world... And after the first prayer in the Haram, despite the exhaustion starting to set in, the wonder takes over...

I could not bear to tear my eyes away from the Ka'bah; I was transfixed, I was in awe that I was actually standing at the very spot to which I point my prayer mat to every single day. There was a tangible magnetism that drew me nearer and nearer to the Ka'bah with every passing moment. A pivotal moment, which sealed the bond with my soul, was during our Tawaaf on the eve of our first day, where were granted the opportunity of touching the Ka'bah. The smell of the brick was intoxicating and the tears flowed readily as my forehead touched the walls of the Holy Ka'bah. It was astounding how everything in my life paled in comparison to the enormity of that moment and just being an honoured guest at the house of the Almighty. I knew that this was indeed a moment I had been preparing for all my life. The realisation that I was born ready to perform my pilgrimage, and supplicate on these magnificent marble floors was prevalent in my mind. Every moment I spent in the Haram has been indelibly imprinted in my memory bank, every step along the sa-ee a tribute to the monumental role of women in our religion. 

When the tiredness eventually took over, and hunger started setting in, we headed back to our hotel. By this time our sleeping patterns were already erratic, having undergone a shift during our stay in Madinah; so time was governed predominantly by the prayer times. Back at the hotel we decided to catch another hour or two of sleep before heading to the breakfast room. One thing I am eternally grateful for is the absolute luxury and comfort of our hotel room, as well as the proximity to the Haram. We literally stayed across the road, about 200m from the Haram entrance which was a convenience one cannot underestimate during the crowded Hajj season. (To walk 200m can take 20 mins with a massive crowd). The advantages of our hotel meant we could easily pop back to our room for a quick snooze in between waqts, without having to worry about being in time for the next waqt, or being able to find a good spot for prayer. The comfort of the hotel soothed our fatigue and the extensive breakfast spread each morning provided adequate sustenance for the day, especially since I do not easily eat the fast foods or food on offer around Makkah. 

From the stories we were told I expected a more authentic Saudi experience, however, Makkah is a bustling, modern city. With pilgrims walking about, sitting in contemplation, or praying everywhere. The high rise buildings and hotels surrounding the Haram is progressive with many more in the process of being built. The heat felt less intense than Madinah, and this could be attributed to the fact that we walked a shorter distance between our hotel and the Holy mosque. There are taxi drivers peddling at every corner and so many 'malls' and shopping centers to choose from! It could be an overwhelming experience to be in Makkah, especially after the tranquility of Madinah, but I felt completely at home. I had instantly fallen in love with the aura of the Holy city, with the captivating power this city had on me. My first day/s were spent in constantly vacillating between getting some rest, eating and wanting to be by the Ka'bah. It took a few days for us to find a new routine for the next 19 days. 19 Days & 3 Jumuahs!! We were really blessed to be able to spend the bigger portion of our trip so close to the Ka'bah, which ultimately made our ibadah easier, and afforded us the advantage of lots of hours in the Haram (without much difficulty) Algamdulilah!

I can talk about Makkah (in fact my whole trip!) for ages and have so much to share♥️

 But for now, I will try to keep it in bite sized tidbits, and highlight the moments which will hopefully inspire those waiting to venture on this life changing journey.

This very moment has been branded in my memory for always ♥️

All opulence and modernity on the Mataaf 

The area for women closest to the Ka'bah to perform salaah when the Haram is packed

Ladies areas are cordoned off 

The iconic clocktower, which houses several hotels, a mall and various souks

The area behind us is a built next to the clocktower and houses the Hilton hotel,
the fountain marks the site of the home of Abu Bakr RA

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Return to life 'post pilgrimage'

Assalaamu Alaykum & Hello beautiful readers!

These past few weeks seem a bit surreal, my perspective on so many things have been altered so significantly that it's hard to believe that it actually happened. It feels like waking from a dream, where everything is starkly real and when you wake up, you feel a bit disoriented. You wonder what has just happened, and where you are, while trying to remember the details of the dream...

Well, this is one dream where even the littlest detail has stuck, where every single moment has been an experience, a learning curve or a lesson for the self. I have returned from this dream the same individual, and yet not really the same person. And this week as I started integrating back into work, I realise more than ever, that I have changed; and on the flip side, the realisation that everything back home has remained the same, has been something I've been struggling with. The struggle for me is firstly, in assimilating this changed me into the same environment; and secondly, in letting go of the lifestyle that had become a norm during the 7 weeks in Saudi Arabia. Life consisted of nothing else except prayer, devotion, self introspection, eating and sleeping- in that order of importance. Which meant very little sleep, scattered mealtimes and the challenge to keep the strength up for the important days of pilgrimage; all of which was quite a task in the extreme heat.

While I am still coming to terms with being back home, and still find myself reliving my pilgrimage days, I am putting together bits which I would like to share with my readers. In an attempt to share with those who don't know what this beautiful journey entails, and for those whose hearts are burning to go. The one thing I asked myself when I set foot on Saudi soil was: "Why did it take me so long to come?", and throughout my trip I was reminded every day that there could be no other time for me to take this journey, no other time which would be right for me. So for those who have the burning desire to be in the Holy lands for Hajj, take comfort in the fact that your time is your time. It is not up to us to decide when that will be, and any time before the trip is merely preparation for when you do make the esteemed journey of Hajj.

So with all the lessons learnt, and discoveries about myself, I have returned to my family whom I missed like crazy. Yet even while missing them, I ensured that I made the most of every single day, every single moment and absorbed every detail like a sponge. I committed the sight of the Ka'baa to memory, the sounds as we stood in the Holy Mosque for prayers and the sounds of the birds circling the Ka'baa just before dawn. All of these have been banked for those days when I yearn to be back, which at this point is several times a day! The single thought I have everyday is to be granted the strength to continue my Hajj journey at home, to remember to check myself regularly against this and to continue on the road of self growth and improvement. This amazing journey has awakened a deeper sense of compassion a tolerance coupled with the clear understanding of the oneness of humanity. I'll elaborate more on these as I unravel my posts.

Today I bring you a look post which features an olive green wrap shirt dress over a skinny jeans, it's been really hard deciding what to wear since I returned. After weeks of simple abayas, robes and a simple pull on burqah or scarf, it is a huge adjustment having to consider clothing options. I literally had a few abayas which I washed and wore on a rotational basis, with the same sliders or Havianas every single day. Simple! This look post is the first attempt at an outfit for going out in public, suitable for work where I still feel comfy and look presentable. During these past few weeks I didn't even wear makeup, until we landed at OR Tambo and I dressed for the 'afklim' aka The Grand Arrival. Traditionally a time when 'fresh' pilgrims wear a special outfit for the welcome home celebrations.

As my acclimation will take time and retraining my brain for work, so will my sense of being home. A feeling I am sure anyone who has visited the Holy lands can attest to... So please bear with me as I find my way ❤️

 

 

Outfit:

Phasionista SA shirtdress

Guess Jeans

Mimco boots 

Louis Vuitton handbag

Witchery scarf

Giorgio Armani sunglasses

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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