A few tweaks is all that is needed

Hi lovely readers!

I've been immersed in Ramadaan and when I reared my head, I realised that we had entered the last 10 days/nights 🤲🏼. As usual this month has been filled with so many blessings, I can tangibly feel the mercy of my Rabb and the sacredness of my time.

Last year we were catapulted into a very restricted way of observing Ramadaan, and yet the solitude and isolation turned out to be an amazing gift of a beautiful time. It allowed us the space to introspect, perform taraweeh in our homes, create new family bonding moments and to practice gratitude for our homes, food and health. This year, as we have emerged a from most of the restrictions, for many, Ramadaan has reverted back to the norm. I have not fully emerged from the solitude, I am finding comfort in isolation as it has allowed me the ability to contemplate more deeply, to strip away illusions more effectively without unnecessary noise. My prayer and reflection time is intensely heartfelt as I engage in supplication, reflection and examine my own engagement in the world; and how I serve and fulfil my purpose. 

This past year has forced us to focus even more on the transient nature of life, as many of us are missing loved ones as we stare at empty seats at our dinner tables. It has taught us the power of prayer and faith, as everything we believed we could control, suddenly shifted beyond our reach and power. The reality of the Divine Plan has never been more strongly felt, and the potential of surrender never more promising than right now. I am certain that every single person has been affected in a myriad of ways by this pandemic; from losing loved ones, being infected and struggling to recover, loss of income, heightened abuse and mental health challenges, to mention a few. I am therefore so thankful for the energy and spirituality of this month; through contemplation and introspection, I can see how everything that has transpired has happened FOR me, not TO me; I am able to embrace the strength that I have dug deep down to find bu the Grace of my Creator. HE has brought me through so many traumas before this, and HE will bring me through this too Subgaanallah.

One of the most liberating effects of lockdown is that my duty to serve, and fortify myself in my purpose, has become my sole focus. Working at being the best version of me, without outside noise this past year, has been nothing short of life-changing. I start every day with gratitude for being alive, for my health, for my strength, my mind, my heart - all of which I will continue to honour-  as these gifts equip me for whatever has been decreed along my path Algamdulilah.

These last 10 days is to be spent, as far as possible, in supplication for refuge and bringing us closer to the Divine. I pray that you are able to find the spaces to engage in deep dialogue with our Creator. May this last few days bring you peace, fill your soul and surround you with blessings InshaAllah.

In the spirit of the end of Ramadaan, I have decided to include my usual repurposing Eid styling inspo for those who are keen to upcycle outifts. I have been doing this for the past few years, and by merely changing up a few elements, it transforms the entire outfit to one that has never been worn before! For this lookpost, I chose a simple Milk Flared white Abayah with pockets from iera designs and glammed it up with accessories, most importantly- a feather jacket☺This look shows how you can take any piece and make it Eid ready! The jacket, scarf, shoes and bag are all existing pieces in my closet, which, when paired together results in a pretty Eid-worthy outfit.

Let me know what your thoughts are on re-purposing, I have already received resounding agreement to upcycling for Eid.

Milk Abayah from iera designs

Feather Jacket - London purchase

Suede heels- old

Forever New bag

Rose Gold Scarf from Rif Wrapped

Sunglasses - old

Ciao for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Wrapping up this Decade

Hi beauties!

As this decade draws to a close, I find myself not only reflecting on this year and what has transpired, but also on what this past decade has brought. And boy, it has been an eventful one, filled with so much unexpected blessings and achievements, most of them not really planned in the traditional sense.

There have been so many areas of growth, expansion, change, and loads and loads of learning. At the start of the last century, my life was on a different course, I was still working feverishly in finance. I was mom to 3 young boys, juggling the crazy extra curricular driving with work, and being a home maker. I barely slept, I was constantly ON, studying part time and just about making time for my gym sessions. Whilst I was not really unhappy, I do remember my health taking a downward turn, my only kidney taking strain, as well as other major health issues popping up. It was clear that something needed to change; and yet it still took me a long time to come to terms with this and take the step toward the change.

During this last decade I started my blog journey (2012), left the corporate space (2013/2014), embarked on the entrepreneur path (2014), to mention a few of the life changing events. My professional journey has evolved so much in the past 10 years, which has transformed many times; into variations based on where I was at the time, what I've learnt and where my path has led me. At the close of the decade, I now find myself the office daily, working more than I did 10 years ago; however, with a distinct change ... I am now focused on growing our own businesses, engaging my passion for serving my fellow human, coaching, mentoring businesses and my continuous search for knowledge and seeing the world; and sharing this with others.

When I look at my 3 boys, who were all under the age of 11 at the start of the decade, I acknowledge that this has been one of the most rewarding area of growth and learning for me. I have had to learn to parent impressionable teens, nurturing them into young adults, being mindful of their individual personalities and characters. These young men have brought me such profound learnings, they have shown me how to look at myself critically and taught me what modelled behaviour should look like.  They have guided me on how to engage with them from a place of compassion, understanding and empathy while at the same time maintaining my parental responsibilities. This balance was the hardest thing to learn!

My personal path during these past 10 years has been nothing short of phenomenal, I have engaged and dealt with my childhood trauma with courage and grace. My past hurts are no longer regarded as millstones around my neck, and instead I am thankful for those tough times as they have shaped me into the individual I am today. There were scary moments of facing things which had been buried for years, but bringing them to light was so liberating and healing. All my inner work has enabled me to parent with awareness of my own weaknesses and when they creep into situations, I have learned how to manage my triggers and deal with my demons in my own way. 

We were immensely blessed to have received our invitation for pilgrimage (almost 3 years ago), a truly life changing event which literally fast tracked my own inner work. It put my entire life into perspective and shed light on my purpose on this earth. It taught me that my faith and the Divine is all I need to navigate my path. 

I have grown so much as an individual, my circle has diminished as I focused more and more on my own internal work and I have grown to understand human nature holistically. The biggest learning during these past 10 years has been to understand that forgiveness sets me free as much as it does the forgiven. That I am not qualified to determine who should or should not be forgiven, I am completely clear that my only focus should be on being the best I can be. It does not matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks as I cannot influence or change anyone else, I can only manage myself and my own actions; afterall I am accountable only for myself and those whom I have been tasked with the responsibility of nurturing and teaching.

This year hubby and I celebrated our 24th anniversary, and even the very foundation of our mariage has shifted during this last decade. Whilst we were both on our individual paths, focusing respectively on our own inner work; it has fostered appreciation, understanding and a stronger bond has been forged through our shared trials and tribulations. During my times of grappling with hurt, I found solace in my soul mate, and when faced with impossible situations, he supported me unconditionally. 🙏🏼

I am therefore heading into the next decade fully equipped to live to the best of my ability, to continue to seek knowledge, to be fully aware of my impact on the world and others, and to take responsibility for myself and my actions as I walk along my Decreed path. There have been so many firsts in this past 10 years, too many to list, and I remain eternally thankful to my Creator for all that I have been blessed with, for all that I have seen and experienced and for all the lessons which have strengthened me in so many ways, Algamdulilah. ♥️

Pics below are from my very first international birthday trip, as we usually only travel in December so that we can take the kids with us. This year we decided to break tradition and do a trip mid year, without the boys. And even though we had some work commitments, there was obviously time for holidaying as well!

Due to the heat in Dubai, I mostly wore silk dresses (like this one), light skirts and linen fabrics...

Wishing all of you a wonderful and prosperous 2020!

 Outfit details:

Boldtique dress

Old Scarf

Birkenstocks Sandals

Desigual Backpack

Old Earrings

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Coming to terms with the entirety of myself...

Hey lovelies!

I found my way back and it feels good to be back after a while away! This post has literally been in drafts for over 2 weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been saying for a while that 2019 has really been challenging on many fronts and my time availability has really been limited. However, it was also filled with most amazing milestones, moments of joy and blessings Algamdulilah.

This year has presented many instances where I needed to do introspection, I had to learn how to manage myself in a range of trying situations, from work to family and social engagements. There are many things I have learnt about myself, some good and some hard to swallow, but at the crux of it, I have had to come to terms with the entirety of myself. And accept that my make up is that I have been Divinely created in a specific way for a particular purpose.

Through the course my life I have weathered a pretty tumultuous and difficult childhood, one I do not talk about often; because on the whole I have made peace with the fact that my life has been decreed this way. As tough as it may have been, it has ultimately shaped me into the person that I am today. I have sat with those who have caused me anguish during my childhood years, given pardon and made a conscious decision that my traumas will not trip me up. The impact that this approach has had on my life has been expansive to say the least, there is very little which I carry in my heart and I am aware of what triggers old wounds and behaviour patterns. I am constantly vigilant of living up to my best potential in my mission to serve my Creator. 

Hubby said to me the other day, that my life is very much a reflection of who I am; and that I am capable of moving from one rollercoaster (literally and figuratively) to the next without batting an eyelash. And if I just consider my life from as early on as I can remember, it has most certainly been one rollercoaster after the other, and over 30 years later it has not changed much. However, what has changed significantly is the way I deal with struggles, the way I place my Creator first which then activates the intention to take care of myself. I am clear that this has been my decreed path and lamenting my fate every time I am faced with an obstacle is not an option. So while there have been many instances of life kicking me in the teeth, I have always dusted myself off, wiped the blood off and barged straight ahead. I take my learnings, integrate what I need to, and gracefully thank the Almighty for the opportunity to move forward (again). 

So while it may look like I always have it all together, know that I too have had some serious life knocks, in fact I still have them, but I pull myself together and supplicate to my Creator for guidance. This methodology helps me maintain my equilibrium when life gets hectic, and gives me the stamina to forge ahead.

So when you feel like the odds are always stacked against you, know that you cannot change others, or the situation. You can only change your approach and the way you deal with these hurdles, if you reflect on your own part in things, you will experience a fundamental shift in your inner peace.

This dress was one I've been wanting to share with you for a while, it was such a lovely bespoke dress, which A Sense of Style put together for me in a matter of days. Aaliah is one of those beacons of light who makes me smile and laugh out loud just by being in her company. Get in touch with her to order your bespoke dress, or follow her Instagram account to see what her current range looks like. 

“Be melting snow.

Wash yourself of yourself.”

Rumi

Outfit details:

Dress by A Sense of Style

Scarf by RifWrapped

Ted Baker Heels

Forever New embellished bag

Earrings gifted

Caio for now, 

RuBe XoXo

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Catching up with life

Hello beautiful readers!

This week I realised that I am operating 7 weeks behind everyone else... As I was chatting to a colleague about business plans for the rest of the year it dawned upon me that it was already November!! And that meant that the end of the year is actually upon us 😮

I had a little bit of a panic, as thoughts swirled around my head of all the things I still had to do before the holidays...

These past few weeks of exams have literally passed by in a haze of work (for me) and extreme stillness in my home. My two eldest sons decided to take turns studying from the home office *which is in a really quiet part of the house* - so they basically shut themselves away and only emerged at mealtimes and snack time. My youngest son needed a bit more directed structure from me, ie reminders that no electronics are allowed, nor TV and for him to stick to his study time table. 

As I look at these young men, I feel a sense of peace that all those years of 'nagging' for them to plan their study timetable, get regular breaks and fit in some physical activity in between, has indeed paid off. Thankfully they are at the point where they understand the importance of planning their time effectively during exams and they even attempt to practice self discipline without the consistent mommy reminders!

Of course, when some or other soccer match is on TV, they get all distracted; but I do feel that some balance is required and I often leave them to it. With the kids following their own time tables, and taking responsibility for it themselves, it freed up my time considerably. It was such a welcome respite from stressing about exams previous years, and I fell into a complete work haze. So much so, that I didn't even realise that the year had passed at such an alarming rate! This time of year is always insane and it's not unusual for me to work 7 days a week 😲 A reality of a work from home mom, who has to cook in between meetings and emails, ensure availability of healthy snacks and the ever present need to fetch or carry from activity.

It's therefore no coincidence that I am still operating behind everyone else, I was away for the entire second term of school and my head hasn't quite absorbed that we're in the final stretch. And when the reality hit me this week, I went into mommy overdrive - finishing up 2018 stationery orders, arranging high school entrance exam appointments, buying uniforms and attending awards ceremonies. I had to catch up with life instantly and now I feel as if I've also caught up with the widely spread year end fatigue! Funny thing, even though I had the most amazing 7 week journey a few months ago, I am so ready for a holiday! 

I guess I have caught up with life, and operating on the same plane as everyone else. It does however mean that my usual crazy schedule has materialised along with the reality that mommy-duties have resumed full time! 

Some wise words, which got me through the crazy this past few weeks:

"Focus on what you can control.
Forgive yourself for what you can't."

This colourful outfit represents the longing for Summer holidays, the floral kimono an ode to outdoor picnics and sticky sandy days at the beach with the little ones...

Outfit details:

Shop.Style.Snap Floral Kimono 

Gap Jeans

Lace trim scarf by Rae's Scarves

Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses

Desigual backpack 

Ralph Lauren, Polo shoes

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Purpose is peaceful busyness

 TGIF lovelies!

There are so many things happening at the same time in my life, that it's hard to keep up sometimes. It is in my nature is to keep busy, in fact, I thrive on new projects, and constant learning.

I recently wrote about the trials of being a mom who works from home and the busyness that goes with it. So it goes without saying that I do not stay in pj's all day while checking emails; I get dressed each day, sometimes apply makeup and prepare to face the world. Some days I have meetings, some days I do errands in between and everyday I do kids and household in between. The reality for me is that I thrive on having a purpose. I enjoy knowing what my week will look like in advance and I can plan things. 

While working in my corporate career, my 'purpose' was to grow new business and ensure profits. Thinking back, it was actually just a job, not a purpose - and even though I enjoyed it - when I exited, I was not drawn to go back. What I missed the most about corporate were the friendships I had cultivated and the clients I interacted with on a daily basis. But through all the years I spent working in my chosen career, at the back of my mind was the knowledge that there was something else I wanted, needed, to do. It was a feeling of biding my time, paying my dues in a sense, until I was able to venture out and follow that voice. The ironic thing is that I probably wouldn't have taken the step if my body had not signaled the need. I was eventually 'forced' to leave work due to health reasons. 

And the next phase of life morphed into what it is today, working on my own terms, being present and involved with my kids, having the time to cook leisurely, engaging with incredible friends, and just basically do what I love. My purpose has guided me into a role where I am able to contribute, and make a difference to someone else. In a sense, paying it forward, as I am happy to share my skills and see my guidance and input make a significant impact. My purpose has steered me into a happier place, a comfortable place - where I feel as if I fit perfectly. I have no desire to be doing anything else than what I do everyday. For me, that is the epitome of being at peace with what life has placed at my door, at peace with where my path has led me. Peace and busyness may sound like contradictions, but when you feel as if you are where you belong, doing what you should, then the busyness takes on another dimension entirely. And it becomes natural to just follow the path.

I believe finding my purpose has done just that, brought a peaceful fullness to life. And while I do not believe that the shifting in my purpose has ended, it will continue for as long as I am learning new things about myself, and the eternal yearning for knowledge endures.  

I also accept that we are all predisposed to our calling in life, and with some introspection, work and patience we will be guided to find it. 

On another note, this outfit, represents the transformation of my previous corporate career to what I now consider work wear. I would not have dreamt of wearing denim in corporate, and now in my new role it just fits.

This look just fits.

No question.

I have paired a light linen culotte with a studded vest, denim jacket and lace up heels, finished off with a tasselled bag. A little bit of a smart bohemian look- two contradictory styles in one OOTD.

Outfit details:

Guess Denim jacket (old)

Country Road studded vest (old)

Topshop striped culotte (sale item)

Shoes own import

H&M Fringe bag (old)

Necklace (old)

Woolworths scarf

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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