Wrapping up this Decade

Hi beauties!

As this decade draws to a close, I find myself not only reflecting on this year and what has transpired, but also on what this past decade has brought. And boy, it has been an eventful one, filled with so much unexpected blessings and achievements, most of them not really planned in the traditional sense.

There have been so many areas of growth, expansion, change, and loads and loads of learning. At the start of the last century, my life was on a different course, I was still working feverishly in finance. I was mom to 3 young boys, juggling the crazy extra curricular driving with work, and being a home maker. I barely slept, I was constantly ON, studying part time and just about making time for my gym sessions. Whilst I was not really unhappy, I do remember my health taking a downward turn, my only kidney taking strain, as well as other major health issues popping up. It was clear that something needed to change; and yet it still took me a long time to come to terms with this and take the step toward the change.

During this last decade I started my blog journey (2012), left the corporate space (2013/2014), embarked on the entrepreneur path (2014), to mention a few of the life changing events. My professional journey has evolved so much in the past 10 years, which has transformed many times; into variations based on where I was at the time, what I've learnt and where my path has led me. At the close of the decade, I now find myself the office daily, working more than I did 10 years ago; however, with a distinct change ... I am now focused on growing our own businesses, engaging my passion for serving my fellow human, coaching, mentoring businesses and my continuous search for knowledge and seeing the world; and sharing this with others.

When I look at my 3 boys, who were all under the age of 11 at the start of the decade, I acknowledge that this has been one of the most rewarding area of growth and learning for me. I have had to learn to parent impressionable teens, nurturing them into young adults, being mindful of their individual personalities and characters. These young men have brought me such profound learnings, they have shown me how to look at myself critically and taught me what modelled behaviour should look like.  They have guided me on how to engage with them from a place of compassion, understanding and empathy while at the same time maintaining my parental responsibilities. This balance was the hardest thing to learn!

My personal path during these past 10 years has been nothing short of phenomenal, I have engaged and dealt with my childhood trauma with courage and grace. My past hurts are no longer regarded as millstones around my neck, and instead I am thankful for those tough times as they have shaped me into the individual I am today. There were scary moments of facing things which had been buried for years, but bringing them to light was so liberating and healing. All my inner work has enabled me to parent with awareness of my own weaknesses and when they creep into situations, I have learned how to manage my triggers and deal with my demons in my own way. 

We were immensely blessed to have received our invitation for pilgrimage (almost 3 years ago), a truly life changing event which literally fast tracked my own inner work. It put my entire life into perspective and shed light on my purpose on this earth. It taught me that my faith and the Divine is all I need to navigate my path. 

I have grown so much as an individual, my circle has diminished as I focused more and more on my own internal work and I have grown to understand human nature holistically. The biggest learning during these past 10 years has been to understand that forgiveness sets me free as much as it does the forgiven. That I am not qualified to determine who should or should not be forgiven, I am completely clear that my only focus should be on being the best I can be. It does not matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks as I cannot influence or change anyone else, I can only manage myself and my own actions; afterall I am accountable only for myself and those whom I have been tasked with the responsibility of nurturing and teaching.

This year hubby and I celebrated our 24th anniversary, and even the very foundation of our mariage has shifted during this last decade. Whilst we were both on our individual paths, focusing respectively on our own inner work; it has fostered appreciation, understanding and a stronger bond has been forged through our shared trials and tribulations. During my times of grappling with hurt, I found solace in my soul mate, and when faced with impossible situations, he supported me unconditionally. 🙏🏼

I am therefore heading into the next decade fully equipped to live to the best of my ability, to continue to seek knowledge, to be fully aware of my impact on the world and others, and to take responsibility for myself and my actions as I walk along my Decreed path. There have been so many firsts in this past 10 years, too many to list, and I remain eternally thankful to my Creator for all that I have been blessed with, for all that I have seen and experienced and for all the lessons which have strengthened me in so many ways, Algamdulilah. ♥️

Pics below are from my very first international birthday trip, as we usually only travel in December so that we can take the kids with us. This year we decided to break tradition and do a trip mid year, without the boys. And even though we had some work commitments, there was obviously time for holidaying as well!

Due to the heat in Dubai, I mostly wore silk dresses (like this one), light skirts and linen fabrics...

Wishing all of you a wonderful and prosperous 2020!

 Outfit details:

Boldtique dress

Old Scarf

Birkenstocks Sandals

Desigual Backpack

Old Earrings

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Year end reflections

Hi beautiful readers!

Reflecting on this past year literally has my mind spinning! It has been the most phenomenal, life changing and, not co-incidentally, also the year I turned 40 😊 

I had heard many people say "Life begins at 40" ... and since I could not relate, it was just a phrase. Until this year hit me with it's hectic challenges, trials which made me look at myself in a whole new light, shifts in relationships and so much more. While I wouldn't say that life 'started' at 40; for me it certainly took a fundamental shift. 

I have had to let go of my (not so secret) control freak, who dictated that life had a plan, and an outcome determined by me. The biggest lesson I learnt this year is to "Let it go", to live with a purpose, but mindful that I do not control the outcome, nor the plan. It started very early this year, when we returned from our vacation, my eldest was off to university, middle son started Grade 11 and the baby embarked on his last year at primary school. For each one of them I had an idea of how I would 'manage' the year, until I accepted that it would be best for my eldest to find his own path, wherever that would lead him. In retrospect, letting go of the parental reins was the best decision, as he's really embraced his own identity this year, taking full responsibility for his own route. My two younger ones have also stepped into 'bigger' roles this year which is really encouraging to see. And in the same way, in every other aspect of my life, letting go has yielded such amazing circumstances that I cannot even begin to tabulate the blessings it has resulted in.

I have been privileged to have travelled extensively this year, and hold all these memories very close to the heart. A glorious family vacation, and a few months later, the long awaited pilgrimage, a journey which completely transformed my perception of life. I find myself more at peace, although it requires work to maintain my holistic outlook on life. The lessons I embraced on my journey are still fresh and sometimes habit, and old ways of doing things, creep back in. It's astounding how quickly I register when I start falling back into old habits,  that even my body will alert me! So during this year it has become a key lesson for me to listen to every physical reaction or symptom, as it is always indicative of something I need to examine within myself. 

I remember turning 30, and how devastated I was to be saying farewell to my 20's- there was a significant shift for me when I turned 30. Maturing of sorts. Turning 40 on the other hand was like a celebration, of a renewed start and facing the unknown without the need to know. I celebrated this milestone, my 40th year on earth, whilst on pilgrimage and it cemented a steadfast trust in the Divine, an understanding that life will unfold despite me and my plans. Life will happen as it is meant to, and I can make it difficult by trying to manage it, or embrace what has been decreed. It is certainly easier said than done, but it has resulted in a more balanced me, less stress and definitely less conflict! 

"Not once did Allah SWT say 'Worry about it' or 'Stress over it'
He said: 'Trust Me'"

And so todays lookpost was taken on a day when I had hectic deadlines, and was struggling to focus on work. Something inside me was yearning for the smell of the sea, to see the crashing waves and feel the sun on my face (even for just an hour). So I put my work on hold for a bit (something I would never have dreamed of doing before), and took some timeout with hubby on a drive to Kalk Bay. What an absolutely invigorating break midweek with my bestie it was indeed, and completely refocused my energy when I returned to work. I am clearly in work clothes (on the beach hehe), but just letting go for a short while in a week where things were a little crazy work wise, was the best thing to do! Just letting it go 😌

 

 

Outfit Details:

Human Image lace blazer

Calvin Klein Jeans t-shirt

Topshop pants

Nine West heels

Scarf old

Sunglasses old

Earrings from Make a Statement

Swarovski necklace purchased in Venice

Ted Baker handbag

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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