35 days in Makkah

Asalaamu Alaykum readers, 

Ramadaan is in full force, and I constantly find myself yearning for the Haram at various times in the day. There is something really magical about this month that reinforces my experiences of Hajj every single day. There are times where I recite in the tranquil space of my home, and I'm instantly transported back to Madinah, where I spent countless hours reciting in the Haram. 

My last post Makkah post ended with our first Umrah, where I found myself on this amazing high, unable to think of anything else but the majestic Baytullah. I was transfixed with the reality of actually being there in person and able to rest my gaze on this most beautiful view. Upon returning to our room after umrah, I rushed to the window with the hope that I'd be able to see the Ka'bah, I could however just see the Mataaf (the area just outside the entrance). The significance of the first Umrah still sat with me, and continued into the next day. Once we had a little nap after breakfast to restore our energy, we headed out to explore. This vibrant city had already taken residence in my heart, and I was entranced with every step I took around Makkah. The malls are filled with shops and stalls, fast food places, the ever present Bin-Dawood, and of course thousands of people navigating their way around the Haram.

The Haram is obviously the centre and the heart of this city, pulsing hundreds of thousands of people in and out every hour. We were fortunate to make it to the Haram for every waqt and grabbing a great spot for salaah (prayer) was relatively easy in the first two weeks. Makkah started filling up really quickly after that, and at every turn, I was faced with a fellow Muslim from a different country. It was overwhelming to know that there were 3 million people headed for this city to fulfil the final pillar. All our time was spent in prayer in the Haram, catching up on sleep and eating. Some time was spent shopping, although we did most of our shopping in Madinah to ensure maximum time in the Haram.

We were so fortunate to have spent over a month Makkah. 35 Days!!

This included our time in Azizziyah and Mina, and yet, when I reflect back it sped by in a heartbeat. We were in central Makkah until 4th Thul Hijjah, ie a total of 19 days before we left for Azizziyah (I'll cover Azziziyah in another post). We felt that this move to Azziziyah would be essential, to have those 3 nights in Azizziyah to rest up and prepare for the 5 days of Hajj. It provided me with time to disengage from the Ka'bah and focus on my spiritual preparation for Hajj.

Those 19 days are indelibly etched in my memory as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. In between waqts we would perform tawaafs, usually one per day, which we did at various times. After Thuhr and before Asr used to be very quiet, but in the heat of the day. Or between Maghrieb & Eshaa, which was cooler, but fuller. The most extraordinary thing is that even though the area around the Ka'bah would be unbelievably congested, we would always find a place. And even better, we'd even find ourselves close to the Ka'bah Algamdulilah! We performed every single tawaaf right by the Ka'bah, often with masses and masses of people. 

Our travel operator took us on a few ziyarahs, to see Jabal Rahmah (Arafat), the Mina Camps, we did a walking tour to the birthplace of the Prophet (PBUH) (almost on the Mataaf) and visited Jabal Thawr. Jabal Thawr is the mountain that the Prophet (PBUH) and Abu Bakr sought refuge in for 3 days and nights from the Quraysh. The feeling of walking in the steps of our Islamic history is so powerful and so intense. We also performed a midnight climb up Jabal Nur, to the cave (Hira) where the Prophet (PBUH) received the first revelations of the Holy Quran during the month of Ramadaan. I felt so honoured and privileged to be able to perform 2 rakats in this cave, on the very same place as our beloved Nabi Mohammad (SAW), Subghaanallah!♥️

Our Hajj group also performed a few Umrahs afterwards, and we also chose to do some on our own. Another exceptional moment for me was celebrating my 40th birthday on Hajj, and performing an umrah with hubby just after Fajr that morning. I cannot even describe the fullness of my heart on that morning, except to say that gratitude and awe are very mild words to capture my feelings. All that I know is, when you're on Hajj, it becomes very clear why we revere our Hujaaj so much. My dialogue with the Almighty is so sacred, it is as clear as day, and I could tangibly feel the mercy, the all-knowingness,  of my Creator every single day on this journey. It has been something that has remained with me since, and I try to be conscious of this all the time, striving to live and performing my prayers with the same manner of supplication.

 

Day 1 after the first Umrah

It was really empty during the first two weeks

Jabal Thawr in the background

Jabal Rahmah

Mid-day Tawaafs

After climbing Jabal Nur (Hira) & performing two rakahs in the cave 

The birthplace of the Prophet (PBUH) in the background

The gate closest to the place where the house of Khadija 

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Madinah to Makkah... The first umrah

Hi lovelies!

I've been so busy doing Hajj write ups this week, that I felt it was appropriate to do my next instalment. I have also chatted to so many people and I cannot contain my excitement for the prospective hujaaj, for what they're about to experience! Right now, for prospective hujaaj, hajj may seem like it's still far off, with all the administration and preparation required ... but trust me, it will be here in a flash!

After spending a spiritually rejuvenating 12 days in tranquil Madinah, we prepared to depart for Makkah. Prior to leaving, our spiritual leader held refresher umrah classes, discussed the history and generally got us into the right frame of mind for our approach to Makkah. This was the next step on our life changing journey, one where we've accepted the most important invitation of our lives. For me, it was a journey I had pictured in my minds eye for years, I even had a vivid dream (years prior to this journey) of my first sight of the Ka'bah. So the prospect of finally realising this dream and fulfilling a life-long aspiration had me in tears and filled with anticipation. I was preparing for the monumental moment where I stepped into the Haram for the very first time. 

We were briefed on logistics, and were ready in our ihraam (special clothes required) to leave the hotel. For women normal attire can serve as ihraam, and doesn't need to be white, for men however, the ihraam constitutes the two pieces of white cloth. As with any movements for hujaaj during this time, the Saudi government provide buses for the 450km journey into Makkah. About 15 minutes outside of  Madinah we stopped off to perform Thuhr (mid -afternoon prayer) and made our nieyah to enter into the state of ihraam (we were already dressed in the garb). 

The bus ride was actually an unexpectedly pleasant one, especially after the horror stories I've heard from previous hujaaj about how awful this bus ride is. We made one stop along the road to eat and navigated our way through various checkpoints before arriving at our hotel. We left Madinah just before 1pm and arrived at our hotel after 9pm, this is after all the security checks and delays, but overall it was still a good trip! Soon after getting our luggage and checking into a very lovely hotel room, with a view facing the Haram we were ready for our umrah. Our group made arrangements to meet in the foyer an hour later, and in the meantime hubby and I explored a bit looking for food. 

We met up with our group, each and every one on a spiritual high, with our hotel just across the road from the Haram, we didn't have far to go. As we entered, through King Fahd gate, our spiritual leader prepared us for the first sight of the Ka'bah. We kept our eyes downcast, as we descended the stairs towards the Ka'bah, filled with wonder and awe. We then stood in front of the Ka'bah, our eyes still downcast, and only when we had our duah for this very moment prepared, did we look up. It was breathtaking, emotiona,l and before I realised it, the tears of gratitude and awe were streaming down my face. I really needed a few moments to take it all in; to absorb the magnitude of this moment, to  digest the fact that I was indeed a guest the house of Allah (SWT)! ♥️ This moment is one that will remain etched in my memory bank forever. Algamdulilah!

We proceeded to perform our tawaaf (7 circumambulations) with a relatively empty Haram (by this time it was already past 12am) and thereafter the Saai. Throughout this I could not tear my eyes away from the Ka'bah, this monument to which I have directed my musallah for prayers every single day. It was now an actual physical presence, with such magnetic attraction I didn't want to leave.  Had we not been beyond exhausted, I'd want to stay for hours more. After the saai, we clipped the hair and returned to the hotel room to freshen up, shower, change and grab an hours shut eye before Tahajud.

This experience is like nothing I have ever encountered, the spiritual high is inexplicable and so grounding. It's as if I had found the place which communicates with my soul. This is where my soul is at HOME, the place which will forever call for my soul to return!

Ready to leave our hotel

The bus was pretty comfortable for the long drive ahead

The mosque at Bir-Ali

Shortly after entering the state of ihraam for the first time

The 'rest stops' along the route to Makka

The road between Madinah and Makkah is mainly barren, rocky desert

After completing our first umrah

Ciao for now,

RuBe xoxo

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Return to life 'post pilgrimage'

Assalaamu Alaykum & Hello beautiful readers!

These past few weeks seem a bit surreal, my perspective on so many things have been altered so significantly that it's hard to believe that it actually happened. It feels like waking from a dream, where everything is starkly real and when you wake up, you feel a bit disoriented. You wonder what has just happened, and where you are, while trying to remember the details of the dream...

Well, this is one dream where even the littlest detail has stuck, where every single moment has been an experience, a learning curve or a lesson for the self. I have returned from this dream the same individual, and yet not really the same person. And this week as I started integrating back into work, I realise more than ever, that I have changed; and on the flip side, the realisation that everything back home has remained the same, has been something I've been struggling with. The struggle for me is firstly, in assimilating this changed me into the same environment; and secondly, in letting go of the lifestyle that had become a norm during the 7 weeks in Saudi Arabia. Life consisted of nothing else except prayer, devotion, self introspection, eating and sleeping- in that order of importance. Which meant very little sleep, scattered mealtimes and the challenge to keep the strength up for the important days of pilgrimage; all of which was quite a task in the extreme heat.

While I am still coming to terms with being back home, and still find myself reliving my pilgrimage days, I am putting together bits which I would like to share with my readers. In an attempt to share with those who don't know what this beautiful journey entails, and for those whose hearts are burning to go. The one thing I asked myself when I set foot on Saudi soil was: "Why did it take me so long to come?", and throughout my trip I was reminded every day that there could be no other time for me to take this journey, no other time which would be right for me. So for those who have the burning desire to be in the Holy lands for Hajj, take comfort in the fact that your time is your time. It is not up to us to decide when that will be, and any time before the trip is merely preparation for when you do make the esteemed journey of Hajj.

So with all the lessons learnt, and discoveries about myself, I have returned to my family whom I missed like crazy. Yet even while missing them, I ensured that I made the most of every single day, every single moment and absorbed every detail like a sponge. I committed the sight of the Ka'baa to memory, the sounds as we stood in the Holy Mosque for prayers and the sounds of the birds circling the Ka'baa just before dawn. All of these have been banked for those days when I yearn to be back, which at this point is several times a day! The single thought I have everyday is to be granted the strength to continue my Hajj journey at home, to remember to check myself regularly against this and to continue on the road of self growth and improvement. This amazing journey has awakened a deeper sense of compassion a tolerance coupled with the clear understanding of the oneness of humanity. I'll elaborate more on these as I unravel my posts.

Today I bring you a look post which features an olive green wrap shirt dress over a skinny jeans, it's been really hard deciding what to wear since I returned. After weeks of simple abayas, robes and a simple pull on burqah or scarf, it is a huge adjustment having to consider clothing options. I literally had a few abayas which I washed and wore on a rotational basis, with the same sliders or Havianas every single day. Simple! This look post is the first attempt at an outfit for going out in public, suitable for work where I still feel comfy and look presentable. During these past few weeks I didn't even wear makeup, until we landed at OR Tambo and I dressed for the 'afklim' aka The Grand Arrival. Traditionally a time when 'fresh' pilgrims wear a special outfit for the welcome home celebrations.

As my acclimation will take time and retraining my brain for work, so will my sense of being home. A feeling I am sure anyone who has visited the Holy lands can attest to... So please bear with me as I find my way ❤️

 

 

Outfit:

Phasionista SA shirtdress

Guess Jeans

Mimco boots 

Louis Vuitton handbag

Witchery scarf

Giorgio Armani sunglasses

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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Spiritual preparation in progress

Welcome beautiful readers, 

What a stunning Friday morning in Cape Town, the chill is in the air, but the sun is out! It is totally reflective of the week I have had. There are moments of complete peace and serenity and then I had moments of panic and overwhelm. The preparation for my journey has taken over life and my daily routine. 

In fact, apart from my set times for working, the routine is completely off kilter, and I suppose the timing is perfect since it is school holidays. The moments of peace and serenity is usually when I contemplate what this journey holds for me, the places I'll visit and what I am hopeful to accomplish. The moments of panic ensues when I am asked what I still need ( I have no idea!) and what still needs to be done. It is then followed by me consulting my lists. 

I have several lists to help keep me sane: A greeting list (ie the list of friends and family I need to visit personally), a list of specific toiletries and meds needed, a list of things to get ready at home, a list of things to pack for Arafah and so on and so on.... And whilst I don't need to pack much in the way of clothing, as this is very simple and easy, there are so many other things to concentrate on! This should give you a pretty good idea of where the panic stems from,  and then I actually just throw up my hands and say, "whatever must be must be..." 

I have just under 3 weeks to go before I depart, and I would like to focus on a spiritual programme I'd like to put together, but the To-Do list beckons ominously. We have had the most precious little girl welcomed into the family this week, and that too has been so amazing and a very welcome distraction. (I am so in love with this little human ❤️).

I know that nothing will prepare me for what I am to experience, hence I am consciously working at leaving with no expectations, at just arriving and soaking up all that I can. I am cognisant that this trip is like no other, one cannot plan for the emotional and spiritual overwhelm that will certainly arise. So I fully intend to open myself up to just being in the moment- from the minute I set foot on Arabian soil. 

In preparation for this trip, I have found that I have very little time, or very little inclination to shoot fashion posts, and stick to my usual schedule on social media posting. This too is another aspect of  my preparation, there is an unconscious distancing from the material world, a movement towards the inner spectrum where I'll need to communicate from. I am having to spend time on preparing my inner self for this monumental journey, and as so many have said - to aim to be fully present on the plains of Arafah and Wuqoof. It is at this time that my most scared dialogue will take place, where the material world will blur into the background and nothing else but my prayers, and my Creator will matter. I cannot possibly imagine what it will be like and I do not wish to hazard a guess, so I can only work to strengthen myself for this intensive spiritual journey. 

This will therefore will be my last lookpost, (luckily I had this shoot in the archives) for a while- I may or may not do an update on where I am in my preparation for my journey. It is so difficult to say where I'll be in the headspace, and whether I'd even be able to journal the progress leading up to my Hajj. I fully intend to keep a journal, and may do a written one, with titbits to share with my beautiful readers at a later stage. But for now, my focus has shifted from this little space of mine to the beautiful lands of Medina and Mecca. I am filled with a nugget of excitement and also trepidation at the same time- but forever grateful to have been chosen as a guest this year, Algamudililah!

I found this look in my files, and it is so serene and tranquil, I felt it would be the perfect outfit post to see the blog out on hiatus. All pieces are from my travels, and each has a very special memory and story attached to it. So while I am in this process of preparation for intense supplication, please keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. I am so thankful for the beautiful messages, inspiration and assistance I have received from readers! 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

And I'll be back in a few months time (at the very latest) to touch base!

Outfit details:

Ralph Lauren Denim & Supply dress from Asos (Old)

Urban leather jacket from Asos (Old)

Adidas sneakers (Footlocker UK)

Ted Baker bag

Scarf purchased in UK 

Sunglasses gifted

Various bracelets

Caio for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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The Journey has started...

Hello lovelies!

This is round two of today's post- I had it ready, saved (or so I thought) and published... Until I lost everything! All the work I had put in GONE! Poof! My brain has been a bit fuzzy since last week, kind of like my heart - all warm and fuzzy ❤️

Since I shared the news of my accreditation for Hajj (pilgrimage) I have had the most amazing encounters! I have received well wishes, emails, congratulations, tips and watsapps from so many people, some of whom I have never met! People have shared their research, lists and experiences with such open hearts- it just blew me away. What was even more special was that everyone,  regardless of race or religion has been so happy for me, wishing me with such reverence and awe.  My non-muslim friends are participating as much in this life-changing experience as my family. It has truly just reinforced the belief that we are all one, and able to share absolute joy.

 As I prepare for this journey, I realise that it actually started four years ago, the day I placed my name on the waiting list. And everything since then has conspired to bring me to this point. In hindsight, I can see how all the trials I have endured, the hardships and despair have all contributed to my personal growth. All the work, the lessons, and the people with whom I have forged bonds have granted me the ability to grab this life-changing opportunity and to embrace all it has to offer. I am excited, I am apprehensive and yet I am also content that there could be no other time that this could happen. This pilgrimage is the culmination of the beginning for me, for when I return it will be a continuation. 

It has started. 

Right here. 

At home. 

I have engaged in conversations with people who have performed their pilgrimage, the nostalgia apparent, the inner glow of fulfilment a testament to enormity of this journey. Each one has their own experience, and in some way every person has the same emotional bond and connection to their experience. This journey is undertaken by individuals from all corners of the globe, all with different traditions and cultures; and each one will perform the same rituals, wearing the same garb and stand as equals side by side on the plains of Arafah. Each one of us in humble supplication, where we can only hope to present the best of ourselves to our Creator. This will be a time of intense introspection, a sacred dialogue from a mere pilgrim, who has traversed the earth to have the honour of fulfilling this spiritual quest. There is no greater evidence of the oneness of humanity than this, the sight of this mass of individuals (all invited guests) all with one purpose, all with the same heart. It is with this feeling of oneness that people have reached out to me, offered gifts, offered prayers and wished me well. At no other time have I felt the love more, or experienced this honouring- it is indeed a humbling experience. 

This Eid was bittersweet, as we prepared the boys for the eventuality that we would not be around next Eid. It was a gesture for them, and I know for us as well. We greeted our nearest and dearest, handing out personal greeting cards, and as I sit and reflect, I am grateful that I have such limited time before I leave. I do not have the luxury of stressing about unnecessary things, it has forced us to focus on what's important and to forego the things that aren't. 

As I greeted family members in this beautiful piece put together by the beautiful Aysha, from Human Image, I felt truly special. Aysha has a knack for knowing what I need, and this outfit made from fabric she sourced abroad was the just the right thing to start my greetings! 

Thank you Aysha for being super awesome!

To purchase any pieces from The Human Image Range, please get in touch with Aysha on 0723711695 or visit her studio at 65 4th Avenue Rondebosch East.

“We are more alike than different. We Are One.”
― Efrat Cybulkiewicz

Outfit details:

Human Image peplum top and skirt

Rebelfunk neckpiece

Vince Camuto heels

Mango quilted bag (old)

Pashmina styled as a scarf (old)

Country Road earrings

Lovisa cuff

Ciao for now, 

RuBe xoxo

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