RuBe’s Closet - Modest Fashion and Lifestyle: Ralph Lauren

Friday, 11 March 2016

Pre-Autumn Colour and Tragedies

Welcome readers,

We have such tragedies in the Western Cape this past week with the death of two teenage girls. The senseless violence has shocked me to the core, mainly because the one incident happened after 4pm on a Monday afternoon, at a time when kids are out and about around people. My kids are walking to and from activities at that time, they are on that routine of sport and school and life. To hear that another teen on the other side of Cape Town was attacked while my son was making his way to sport practice (at exactly the same time!), a 15 minute walk, threw me off kilter that day.

I had the urgent need to rush through the roads I knew he’d be walking, to go and wait at the open soccer field they practice at, just to ensure his safety. But the reality is that it’s not practical, at some point they need to exercise their independence if they are to be well functioning adults. And while it may not be practical, the urge to protect and shield our kids from the atrocities in this world is so strong. Kids are being harmed at every turn, from young toddlers to teenagers just entering young adulthood with their faces turned towards the future. It’s heartbreaking when those dreams and aspirations are cut short by a pointless murder or violent act.

It’s even harder having to explain to kids that something like this has happened, unprovoked and with no reason. It leaves them feeling confused, scared and unsure of how to avoid the same fate. This is one of those instances where parents don’t have the answers and there are no solutions.

The best one can do is raise our youth with a sense of responsibility and a belief that humanity is not all about these incidences, that humanity is still good. We have to highlight the good acts, with the hope that the good will outweigh the bad. And even though we have serious challenges ahead of us as a country with social inequalities, struggling emerging economy and political issues, the only way to effect positive change is to empower our youth. Our youth will be our saving grace, so let’s work at protecting them, inspiring optimism and hope, helping them recover from trauma and provide the best support structures equally at all levels of society.

Today’s outfit features an old bargain jumpsuit paired with a Witchery First Edition cape. The idea is to demonstrate that even a low cost piece can still be dressed up; and when paired with the right accessories and pieces can combine into a stylish outfit.

Outfit:

Mr P floral jumpsuit (old)

Witchery Cape

Trenery scarf

H&M wedges

Gifted bag (old)

Ralph Lauren sunglasses (Sunglass Hut, Bali)

Caio for now,

RuBe xoxo

Ditch the mommy guilt

Welcome readers, (on this gloomy Friday)

This past week, I have seen a few moms raking themselves over the coals, racked by mommy guilt for a array of things. From having to work long hours, to not being able to lift with a school excursion and being unable to take time off work because the child is ill.

I feel it necessary to offer some useful advice to counter some of this guilt, I too have suffered the same and of late have realised that each parent does the best that they can. That’s all our kids really want - our best; just as we expect them to just do their best. We understand that all kids are different and this means that they will handle situations differently and sport different strengths- same applies to mommies.

I started my family at a very young age - with the intention of being young enough to relate to them during their teenage years. In hindsight, I really wouldn’t change a thing, but being so young meant that I was always berating myself when I didn’t do something just right. It was an insane time, trying to manage two young ones (both under the age of 2), working and studying and at the same time trying to be the good wife. The guilt I felt when something fell through the cracks was self deprecating, and looking back I realise it was an enormous waste of energy.

At the same time we moved into our own home, and with hubby working extremely long hours I was often left with the boys, on my own. A lot of how I coped is a blur, but the ever present guilt remained a constant. Despite this I continued with my studies, my eye on the goal of that career I was coveting. I put my career on hold with every maternity leave (mommy guilt, again), staying home for up to 9 months if I could and resumed working when I could. Years passed with me literally working myself to a standstill, trying to be the perfect wife, homemaker, mom, student and employee and trying assuage mommy guilt. By the time my first born entered his teen years, things started to shift in my head. I had achieved my career, luckily my marriage was still intact and my kids had turned out well adjusted - I looked at this picture and realised that the guilt didn’t help nor did it contribute. I realised that they would turn out well, despite me having to work; and trying to be super mom all the time. Many women today, have to work, are single moms and just struggle make ends meet. These women really don’t need mommy guilt to make life harder, in fact, they need to appreciate that their kids are happy with them just doing the best they can. And more importantly they need to be told that they’re appreciated, by a spouse, a friend or parent - just to make this mommy experience that much sweeter.

Two years ago, I decided to put the big job title behind me, to fully embrace what all those years of struggling had attained. I now still have moments of mommy guilt, like when I have to attend a class at night or work on a project over a weekend, but I have the will to suppress it and just enjoy every moment as it happens, clear in the knowledge that it’s ok.

On that note, this mommy took some time out this week to enjoy the sun, the sea and quick chat with hubby, in between the crazy life. Guiltfree enough to shoot some OOTD pics.

This outfit is all last season and while I love this top I bought in Dubai two years ago, the nude colour doesn’t necessarily work with all skin tones- in summer I’m tanned enough to pull it off with a bright pop of colour to balance the bland colour.