Friday, 19 February 2016

Ditch the mommy guilt

Welcome readers, (on this gloomy Friday)

This past week, I have seen a few moms raking themselves over the coals, racked by mommy guilt for a array of things. From having to work long hours, to not being able to lift with a school excursion and being unable to take time off work because the child is ill. 
I feel it necessary to offer some useful advice to counter some of this guilt, I too have suffered the same and of late have realised that each parent does the best that they can. That’s all our kids really want - our best; just as we expect them to just do their best. We understand that all kids are different and this means that they will handle situations differently and sport different strengths- same applies to mommies. 
I started my family at a very young age - with the intention of being young enough to relate to them during their teenage years. In hindsight, I really wouldn’t change a thing, but being so young meant that I was always berating myself when I didn’t do something just right. It was an insane time, trying to manage two young ones (both under the age of 2), working and studying and at the same time trying to be the good wife. The guilt I felt when something fell through the cracks was self deprecating, and looking back I realise it was an enormous waste of energy. 
At the same time we moved into our own home, and with hubby working extremely long hours I was  often left with the boys, on my own. A lot of how I coped is a blur, but the ever present guilt remained a constant. Despite this I continued with my studies, my eye on the goal of that career I was coveting. I put my career on hold with every maternity leave (mommy guilt, again), staying home for up to 9 months if I could and resumed working when I could. Years passed with me literally working myself to a standstill, trying to be the perfect wife, homemaker, mom, student and employee and trying assuage mommy guilt. By the time my first born entered his teen years, things started to shift in my head. I had achieved my career, luckily my marriage was still intact and my kids had turned out well adjusted - I looked at this picture and realised that the guilt didn’t help nor did it contribute. I realised that they would turn out well, despite me having to work; and trying to be super mom all the time. Many women today, have to work, are single moms and just struggle make ends meet. These women really don’t need mommy guilt to make life harder, in fact, they need to appreciate that their kids are happy with them just doing the best they can. And more importantly they need to be told that they’re appreciated, by a spouse, a friend or parent - just to make this mommy experience that much sweeter.

Two years ago, I decided to put the big job title behind me, to fully embrace what all those years of struggling had attained. I now still have moments of mommy guilt, like when I have to attend a class at night or work on a project over a weekend, but I have the will to suppress it and just enjoy every moment as it happens, clear in the knowledge that it’s ok.

On that note, this mommy took some time out this week to enjoy the sun, the sea and quick chat with hubby, in between the crazy life. Guiltfree enough to shoot some OOTD pics. 
This outfit is all last season and while I love this top I bought in Dubai two years ago, the nude colour doesn’t necessarily work with all skin tones- in summer I’m tanned enough to pull it off with a bright pop of colour to balance the bland colour.













Outfit details:
Vera Moda top (purchased in Dubai)
Woolworths jegging
Errol Arendz wedges
Ted Baker bag
Ralph Lauren sunglasses from Sunglass Hut (Bali)
Sass scarf
Tiffany & Co earrings
MrP neckpiece (old)

Caio for now, 
RuBe xoxo