Hi beautiful readers and Happy Easter to all those celebrating!
This has been a roller coaster week, having to say goodbye to my teenage son last Friday (who was perfectly happy to offer a perfunctory peck on the cheek and be on his way) was rather traumatic for me. I was under strict instructions from said teenager not to cry when he goes through the boarding gates, and I was pretty good until he was out of sight. As I walked towards the car, the dam walls came crashing down and I let the tears flow. My youngest son, who is super sensitive tried to comfort me, and ended up by saying he also had a tears on the inside (too sweet man! *sniff).
That was the easy part, the waiting had me on the edge of my seat - just to hear that they’d landed safely after the first flight was all I needed. All this happening and we had a big kiddies party at our house the following day, needless to say I was a bit off my game. I barely slept, waiting for a message, with a very excited 11 year old bouncing around in anticipation of hosting 20 friends at his party. It was time to get myself into party mode and put all thought of my errant traveller out of my mind.
By 3pm the afternoon (in the midst of the craziness of 20 eleven year olds noisily swimming and running amok in my home) word arrived via a brief text message that they had arrived in Amsterdam and were busy settling in. I was so relieved, it’s hard to explain that my worry was totally unnecessary, especially since there were around 12 adults travelling with the boys. And then my anxiety took another turn, waiting to hear if the food was good, if his ankle was fine to play, if he was warm enough, if he had slept well….. And everyday I received the briefest of text messages, no major detail just that he was fine and loved and missed us. I garnered more information from the tour Facebook page than from my boy. However, as the week to drew to a close he requested two FaceTime sessions this week, which made my heart really glad! So he does want to chat to the ol’ family left back home occasionally, maybe a bit of longing in there somewhere?
Reality has finally set in, and while I had thought I was OK to let him be, and be a brave and detached mum - I just could not be! It’s not in a mums DNA to let one of her chicks go out into the world without worrying about all that could go wrong. I am sure he’s just fine, enjoying the amazing experience, managing with his laundry, eating enough and taking care of his injuries.
In the end, I managed to host a wonderful birthday party for my youngest baby, with no visible sign of being distracted. It was very important to me to put every single effort into making him feel special and ensure that his birthday was memorable (regardless of my heartache at having the eldest thousands of km away without word).
And that, I believe is the marvel of motherhood - having to smile and ensure life goes on- even if one doesn’t feel like it- and doing a sterling job of it.